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DP has just split up with me out of the blue

(8 Posts)
JjustBrokenUp Wed 27-Apr-16 15:08:12

NC but a reg. I Thought me and DP had a great relationship and a lovely family (young DD). We've had our ups and downs, mainly due to his bipolar which led to us breaking up whilst he was manic and I was pregnant, and then some tough times while he was depressed and I had a newborn. However for the past year or so we've been just perfect or so I thought.

Sometimes I do moan because he just won't tidy his own shit up. I don't expect him to do much, but i think tidying up after yourself is just basic manners. A couple of weeks ago he got in a big fit about this, said he wasn't going to give me an excuse to moan any more and spent a few days putting on wash after wash (but not putting them away so was hardly the most taxing or useful housework he could have been doing). Anyway he did this with so much venom and annoyance that I said not to bother and I would prefer to go back to normal.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, we both ended up going out on Sunday.. Had a lovely time, though he spent more money than he would have liked. Monday evening out of the blue he starts calling me a slag and other horrible names. Tuesday he tells me he hates me and wants to break up.

He said he couldn't move out for 2 weeks, but I said no. If he wants to be so horrible, he will have to go today (only my name on the tenancy). I asked him for a reason, he said it was because I moaned too much.

But then before we went out on Sunday he said all the time that we were his world, his everything, he loved me forever etc etc

Personally I think it's either a comedown off the Coke he took Sunday, or his bipolar is sending him manic again and he's not thinking straight.

I know this doesn't excuse anything, but it's so hard to not wish he would just change his mind, apologise and everything could go back to normal.

When will it get easier? This is my first proper break up. Need a kick up the bum please --but not too hard--sad

springydaffs Wed 27-Apr-16 19:24:47

'Normal'? Erm I don't think you can expect normal in your relationship tbh. What do you mean by 'normal'? How does it actually look?

Just because he has bipolar doesn't mean he can get away with treating you like a slave and dogsbody.

He takes coke when he's bipolar?? Bloody hell, isn't that just asking for trouble?

WeeHelena Wed 27-Apr-16 19:53:14

What springy said but it doesn't change how you feel right now, It will get better with time, I wouldn't advice taking him back he sounds like he needs help and you deserve better.

He might apologise and say he will change but will he really? When you take him back it tells him he has no reason to.

MatildaTheCat Wed 27-Apr-16 19:57:37

confused Am I having a senior moment or did I post on this same thread earlier this afternoon?? Where you were given some tough but sensible advice.

Nanny0gg Wed 27-Apr-16 20:41:47

Original post appeared twice.

And the OP hasn't liked the answers on the other thread...

springydaffs Wed 27-Apr-16 21:15:34

Why do you say op didn't like the answers on other thread, Nanny? I've just had a look and she hasn't posted.

People have lives you know grin

Nanny0gg Wed 27-Apr-16 22:49:42

Yes she has:
Ok, I'm just going to change my name back and hide this thread. I just wanted a kind word to help me get through the day but it doesn't really look like I'm going to get one. I'm sure none of you are meaning to make me more upset but I'm sitting here crying because breaking up hurts whether it's a lucky escape or not.

There were kind words in there, but as most thought that him leaving was the best thing to have happened it probably didn't come across as sympathetic.

redannie118 Wed 27-Apr-16 23:04:29

So I read the other post and here are my words of advice. My dh has bioplar. He takes all his meds, goes to all his doctor apps, and doesnt even drink as it effects his moods. Sorry but this guy is a grade a dick and bipolar is no excuse. No one chooses bipolar, but your dh did choose to use a class A drug knowing the effect it would have on his mood. If you think this is acceptable then fine, thats your choice, but as someone with caring responsibility to your dh , overlooking this is endorsing to him that this behaviour is ok. I know first hand how hard this is, I have literally marched DH to the gp when he insists he is fine and I know he is not, but harsh though it is as the person with clarity in thid realtionship, you need to let him know taking coke is not acceptable EVER. As a mother you owe this to your children. And as in ANY relationship, mental health issues are not an excuse to behave in an abusive way, you do not have to tolerate this

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