Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Other daughter in law gets away with murder

(90 Posts)
2015mom Tue 26-Apr-16 15:35:30

My husband has one brother who is married and his wife gets away with murder!

She is so lazy does nothing to help others, keeps on having kids ! She is now going to have her third child (she will have 3 children under 3 years old) and she expects everyone to raise her kids whilst she sits there and watches tv or shops on internet or out shopping. She has never worked and gets everything paid for her whilst we go out and work for living and do everything for ourselves.

She has also caused trouble for her mother in law by breaking down relationships and still mother in law talks nicely to her for the sake of her son!!

Then I hear people moaning about her and think it's unfair and also think it's unfair mother in law burdens us with the laziness from the other daughter in law.

I am not the jealous type but someone made me think today maybe I am jealous that she gets away with murder, is lazy, gets everything whilst she does not have to work even. Though her husband on crap wage she still get in laws to pay for stuff and benefits!

She has everyone wrapped around her little finger whilst she sits on her ass all day! Makes me angry but I need to learn how to block her out and be normal with her even though it's hard

RudeElf Tue 26-Apr-16 15:37:23

hmm

How do you know what she does all day if you are so busy working?

2015mom Tue 26-Apr-16 15:40:15

Because I have lived with her so I know .. At moment im off work so pop over and she is always sitting on sofa watching tv also mother in law tells me

unlimiteddilutingjuice Tue 26-Apr-16 15:40:19

" I need to learn how to block her out and be normal with her even though it's hard"

Yes. Yes you do.

So her husband is on a low wage and she is SAHM to three small children.
I doubt she is "sitting on her arse all day"
If your MIL wants to help out her grandchildren then that's lovely. I bet she loves being involved in their early years.
Why on earth would you begrudge that?

RudeElf Tue 26-Apr-16 15:44:51

I think you all sound too involved with each other.

Ellarose85 Tue 26-Apr-16 15:45:22

I'm a SAHM with a 10 month old and another on the way. It's impossible to sit on your arse watching telly all day with young ones to look after.

When nap times come around and my jobs are done, I will take pride of place on the sofa and catch up on stuff on sky+ and partake in some too much online shopping. Does that make me lazy too?

Vixxfacee Tue 26-Apr-16 15:46:15

If she is so bad why do you go there and sit with her on your day off?

Hissy Tue 26-Apr-16 15:47:34

What exactly does she do to harm you?

Why do you give a remote crap about her life and what she does and doesn't do?

Have you thought about a hobby or something to fill the time you're wasting on worrying about what another adult human being is or isn't doing?

With the amount of contempt you clearly feel for her, she'd be better off if you left her to it. She's made her choices, others are choosing to support them, none of it your business at all.

Sorry. Move on. Nothing more to see.

ChicRock Tue 26-Apr-16 15:51:03

it's unfair mother in law burdens us with the laziness from the other daughter in law

How exactly does she do that? Stop allowing it. And stop popping over to check how lazy she's being.

You'll find that if you butt out of her day to day life it'll wind you up a lot less.

pippistrelle Tue 26-Apr-16 15:51:26

also think it's unfair mother in law burdens us with the laziness from the other daughter in law.

In what way?

category12 Tue 26-Apr-16 15:52:05

It's hardly her alone that "keeps having kids". Brother in law is helping with that. hmm

And that's their choice. And it's your Mil's choice to help out and tolerate her if she's unpleasant.

You're doing yourself no good getting peeved by it. If people moan about her to you, just don't engage with it. And get on with doing your own thing.

StuRedman Tue 26-Apr-16 15:52:47

Oh you'd hate me. Three DC at school and no job. I literally watch Netflix and eat biscuits all day.

DFOD.

2015mom Tue 26-Apr-16 15:59:53

No I am a stay at home mom myself

Difference with her is that she has every tom and dick and Harry picking and dropping her kids off when she does f all for them, people around her are moaningn about her laziness

She has two kids and puts then to sleep when she is home alone and expect mother in law to sort their food out

She may have two kids and one on the way but she IS lazy ! Expects everyone else to do everything for her

RudeElf Tue 26-Apr-16 16:01:53

whilst we go out and work for living and do everything for ourselves.

How exactly are you working for a living in a way that she isnt?

2015mom Tue 26-Apr-16 16:01:56

Ps I don't hate people who stay at home! I hate the burden SHE puts on others!your right it's not my problem
And I need to tell people who come to me who moan about her to tell her directly rather than pussyfoot around the situation

Mother in law helps with kids because she wants to which is lovely and she also looks after elderly parents who need special care and moans at me and my husband about the lazy daughter in law lol

2015mom Tue 26-Apr-16 16:03:07

I work and pay my taxes whereas she has come from abroad and sits on her ass on benefits she has never paid a penny INTO THE SYSTEM but is happy to TAKE MONEY OUT OF THE SYSTEM by claiming every benefit in the book

ChicRock Tue 26-Apr-16 16:04:21

You seem unhealthily fixated on her and the minutiae of her daily life. You know that's not normal, right?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Tue 26-Apr-16 16:06:06

Confused.
You are a stay at home mum who works and pays tax?

Twooter Tue 26-Apr-16 16:06:20

Yanbu

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Tue 26-Apr-16 16:07:16

I would think anyone who has 3 children under 3 doesnt even know where her arse is, let alone sit on it all day

WindPowerRanger Tue 26-Apr-16 16:07:27

This thread is like controversial issue bingo!

Anyway, we now have the clincher. She HAS COME FROM ABROAD. Must be evil devil spawn then.

Three children under three! Looking after them herself! And she a foreigner! It's disgusting, that's what it is.

2015mom Tue 26-Apr-16 16:08:00

Hahahah I have a great life but just having a moan about someone I have to deal with which is annoying

Waltermittythesequel Tue 26-Apr-16 16:08:37

You either work and pay taxes or are a SAHM.

Either way you sound weirdly obsessed with this woman and to be frank, your Mil shouldn't be carrying stories about her to you, who will obviously use them to gossip and bitch.

2015mom Tue 26-Apr-16 16:09:14

I have worked for 20 years and taking a year out!!! Going back in two months!!!

RudeElf Tue 26-Apr-16 16:09:38

How is she getting benefits having never paid taxes? Where does she come from?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now