Me and DH have been together for 4 years, married for 18 months. We have a daughter that's 9 months old.
He is a caring man, very honest and open, works hard and loves our daughter. He had an emotionally abusive father and a mother who continues to be very manipulative now. He models the exact opposite of this - he has lots of insight into what he doesn't want our family to be like.
Writing it down makes me feel even more guilty than I already do but I need some fresh eyes: I am desperately unhappy and I don't understand why.
The things I can pin down and name seem so small and silly that they can't be the reason but it's all I have - for instance, he never seems to enjoy himself. He's never sad or down but he doesn't smile or laugh. It sounds silly but it really affects me - he NEVER smiles. I just want to have a little bit of fun. He provides financially for us but I want to feel as though he wants to be around me and I guess, as selfish as this sounds, I want to feel special and wanted. I just don't.
A big part of it is surely the fact that we don't have sex anymore. We haven't had regular sex since about a year into the relationship. Before this I had a very high sex drive. It's not like he can't keep up with me either; the worrying thing is I don't want it anymore.
I know people are probably thinking "so just leave him then" but I know I would be sad without him. And I do love him. I catch myself fantasising about it being just me and my daughter and I hate myself for it. And I know it is an unrealistic fantasy - I'm sure I would miss him. But what can I do?
I'm sure this seems like a non problem to a lot of people and I do understand that I am in a far better situation than many others. I just want to know how to help us both enjoy life a little more.
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This can't be right can it?
20 replies
PrettyPathetic · 25/04/2016 08:36
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