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How worried should I be?

(12 Posts)
Spornless Sun 24-Apr-16 09:49:38

I wasn't sure how to title this thread. I'm hoping for some advice from some MNetters wiser than myself

There is a history of DH not telling the whole truth when it comes to finances. This issue, I thought, was addressed four years ago when I discovered credit card statements I knew nothing about. I also found out he had lied about money before. After a lot of heartache, we continued our relationship with the understanding that I would oversee finances more closely (check up on him, unfortunately) and he assured me he would be financially transparent and nothing like this would happen again.

I struggled with trust at first but things got easier and returned to, almost, normal. Until recently. My intuition felt like it was trying to tell me something so I've checked some recent statements. A credit card balance, which I know about, has been moved. ie.one statement says the balance and credit limit remaining, but a statement that arrived a fortnight later shows everything as zero. Does this mean it has been balance transferred to another card? Problem being, none of this has been mentioned to me. And is out of character. And no new card has arrived (I'd notice).

The timing coincides with a car upgrade so I'm assuming I've not been told the whole truth about the costs involved hence he's trying to hide something. A lot of assumptions you'd say, but I am trying to understand what has happened before I ask any questions. I've never transferred a credit card balance before so didn't understand what all the zeros meant at first. It's also worth pointing out that he's never been this organised with regard to credit before, I would be amazed that he had transferred it simply to avoid paying interest on the balance for 12 months.

I don't want to doubt him, nor do I enjoy feeling suspicious, but something isn't adding up. I don't want to confront the issue without all the facts.

Squeegle Sun 24-Apr-16 09:53:44

It seems a bit strange. If you are overseeing finances, you must know what is coming in and out? Have you done an experience or similar check? You have to pay a small fee - or try "noddle" I think that is free, you can only look up yourself, but it also shows the balances in any joint financial agreements. Or ask him to do one for him and share with you. In the interests of transparency and ensuring all is up to date and sorted,

Spornless Sun 24-Apr-16 10:01:28

I've taken my eye off the ball recently due to family obligations and stress. Up until the middle of last year I knew every detail but I feel I've let it slip, because I trusted him and he was telling me what his credit card was being used for. This is a change i haven't been told about, which seems strange. We don't have a joint credit card so I'm not sure it'd show on a credit check but I'll have a look at noddle. Thank you

pocketsaviour Sun 24-Apr-16 10:02:16

one statement says the balance and credit limit remaining, but a statement that arrived a fortnight later shows everything as zero. Does this mean it has been balance transferred to another card?

It's either been transferred, or the remaining balance on the card has been fully paid off in cash (by which I mean, from a debit card or bank transfer.)

You're going to have to ask him. Because if he hasn't done it, then that means someone else has access to your credit cards, and you will need to report that to the police. I'd go in from that angle when if he starts denying.

Squeegle Sun 24-Apr-16 10:04:54

Sorry, wasn't meaning to come across as critical, I kind of meant you "should" know about all ins and out as he "should" be telling you!!
Hope you get it sorted. For me, financial security and knowing where I am at all times is very important, so I know where you're coming from. Good luck.

Spornless Sun 24-Apr-16 10:05:03

I thought the same but the credit limit also says £0 which I take to mean the credit card account no longer exists? Which is boggling my mind as no other credit card has arrived, nor have any new statements. It's as if it's hidden.

Spornless Sun 24-Apr-16 10:07:32

It's ok Squeegle, I am being critical of myself. I should have been asking more questions. Now I feel I have to dig around for answers which I hate, and it shows the lack of trust or my paranoia.

Joysmum Sun 24-Apr-16 10:10:49

Sounds like he's shifted the balance and shut the account (thank god!). So you need to ask him where the balance has been shifted too and the make sure it's at the level expected.

Either way, given your history I'd have expected him to discuss it before doing anything. You need to be very careful sad

SandunesAndRainclouds Sun 24-Apr-16 10:12:59

Could he have taken a loan for the car, taken more than the car is costing and cleared other debts with one loan? This isn't a bad thing to do if the cost of repayments with the new loan is lower than a previous debt.

champagneplanet Sun 24-Apr-16 10:22:14

If he's signed up for something and you're partners shouldn't you know already? Especially based on his previous actions. You shouldn't have to go looking or keep your eye on things, he should just tell you without having to be asked.

Spornless Sun 24-Apr-16 10:57:08

Yes Champagne, I think I should already know. You're absolutely right.

Joysmum Mon 25-Apr-16 19:21:10

Just wondering how you are Spornless?

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