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New excitement to black out the pain of a breakup - your experiences?

(6 Posts)
notnearlythereyet Fri 22-Apr-16 20:38:42

I will try to keep it brief.
I have split up with my XDP a couple of weeks ago. We live in a house we bought together three years ago, together for five years. My DC is 12 from another relationship. I am trying to move on, looking for a place to rent while we sort out the house. He wants to buy me out, I am happy with this, just want to move on.
The relationship was never really bad, but small things made me doubt whether we should keep going for the last two years. He has never really 'grown up', still going out and getting smashed with his mates once every month ot two. To the point I would cry and worry at 5am. Tried to address this but loads of promises and no improvement. Other than that we both have good jobs, financially secure etc. A possible EA on his side for the past year but no concrete proof. Caused me lots of doubts and I just stopped loving him I guess. I know I have to leave.
I met someone, not a relationship, saw him a few times and things are looking ok. I second guess myself, wondering if I want to be with him or am I just looking for someone to ease the pain of the breakup.
My question really is about whether it is ok to have someone to make you feel good, give you a bit of excitement while breaking up with someone else? I really like him but not really ready to commit, not sure if I can handle another relationship, maybe I should stay strong and be single for a while? Is it my insecurity that is making me fancy him or should I recognise my feelings towards him as something real?
Sorry for babbling just looking for other people's experiences on breaking up and getting involved with someone else straight away.

pocketsaviour Fri 22-Apr-16 21:32:27

If your emotions are volatile, I'd stay away from any kind of dating activity right now. I know I've said "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else" a few times, but that's for a short term thing - not a 5yr LTR.

I personally need a good period of time on my own before I can think about even casual sex with anyone else. My last LTR ended 3 years ago and I've only recently started dating again. I'm aware I'm a bit of an extreme case though!

notnearlythereyet Fri 22-Apr-16 21:43:23

Thanks for the perspective! I have not been out of a relationship for more than a few months since I was 16, and I am 42! Maybe I do need a break. Just finding it difficult to cope I guess.

springydaffs Fri 22-Apr-16 22:23:04

Have a good time. I would.

Slowdecrease Fri 22-Apr-16 23:12:06

If something or someone makes you feel good - do it! Dont question it or worry. Just enjoy the renewed you while it lasts which might be a lifetime who knows smile

Offred Sat 23-Apr-16 06:50:19

I agree with pocket.

When leaving, especially an ea relationship, you are easy pickings for twats who frankly offer fun, excitement etc at first but end up fucking with your head eventually.

Be on your own for a while first I think, just get over the relationship and make sure your twat-o-meter is up and running befor you start seeing anyone else that you like.

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