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Ex watching (or getting someone else to watch) my house

(66 Posts)
chaseisonthecase Fri 22-Apr-16 13:37:43

If I called the police would they be able to do anything about it? Is he even doing anything wrong?
I feel like my privacy is constantly being invaded and I'm uncomfortable and on edge all the time. I shouldnt feel like this in my own home.

BIWI Fri 22-Apr-16 13:38:58

How do you know someone is watching? And how do you know it's orchestrated by your Ex? Unless you can prove that, it's pointless going to the police I would have thought

chaseisonthecase Fri 22-Apr-16 13:41:40

He texts me when I have friends over with the names of the people in my house.
He knows if I go out and what time I get back.
He knows a couple of my neighbours so it could be that they are telling him. Or that he's watching me himself. Either way it's unnerving.

HolditFinger Fri 22-Apr-16 13:45:04

Start taking pictures and recording times and dates to go with them. That'll give you some proof if the same people are consistently turning up. Let them see you doing it too - it may make them think twice.

I'd also be tempted to get a life size cut out and move it to a different window each day. Make them think they're being watched back.

whatsthatcomingoverthehill Fri 22-Apr-16 13:46:49

What a twat. But at least he is stupid enough to give you evidence then. I'm pretty sure that the police would take a dim view and have a word at least.

HolditFinger Fri 22-Apr-16 13:46:52

Obviously, save the fucking creepy texts too.

Leviticus Fri 22-Apr-16 13:47:27

He's stalking you. That's a criminal offence and an indicator that he's a risky individual. Definitely report to the police.

Misselthwaite Fri 22-Apr-16 13:48:06

I'd get in touch with the police. Is there any chance he's tracking your phone?

pippistrelle Fri 22-Apr-16 13:49:10

It's harassment, and is against the law. Call the police.

Akire Fri 22-Apr-16 13:50:18

Try and ignore who has their life to waste telling you who is on your house?? Of course you know! I would get lots of random people in , (and straight out back door if necessary) act like you are having fabulous time with friends or new people in your life. Surely he will get bored at some point?

chaseisonthecase Fri 22-Apr-16 13:53:47

I don't know about tracking my phone. I wouldn't even know how to check.
I am also concerned he might be recording me. I've recently started seeing someone and he seems to know exactly when we've slept together. He never actually says 'I know you've had sex' but he seems to text me with something cryptic within about half an hour of it happening... confusedblush

whatsthatcomingoverthehill Fri 22-Apr-16 13:57:24

Fucking hell. Police now, explain all of this.

Akire Fri 22-Apr-16 13:59:08

Ok that is creepy- could it just be saw bedroom light on and presumed? Or no way of telling from outside?

BadDoGooder Fri 22-Apr-16 14:04:59

Police now.
Explain everything.
Take your phone to an expert (I would be paranoid enough to do it in another town) and get them to check it for tracking/keyloggers etc.

I was stalked by my ex, but there wasn't a law against it then, there is now as it's a very recent thing, it's there to protect you, use it. flowers

chaseisonthecase Fri 22-Apr-16 14:06:06

No way of telling from outside. My curtains are thick blackout curtains so there's no light visible.
Also the adjoining house is empty at the moment so no way someone could have heard anything and told him.

chaseisonthecase Fri 22-Apr-16 14:07:09

I have just downloaded some antivirus software and it's currently scanning my phone for anything suspicious.

AnnieOnnieMouse Fri 22-Apr-16 14:08:32

Definitely stalking
www.scaredofsomeone.org/
Do have a read of the site
They have a Facebook presence, too

ImperialBlether Fri 22-Apr-16 14:10:17

The guy you're seeing - does he have a car parked outside your house?

I think you have enough to go to the police and ask them to have a word with him, OP. He has no right to do this to you.

Canyouforgiveher Fri 22-Apr-16 14:14:17

Are you still in the home you shared with the ex or has he had access to that house in the past?

I would definitely report to the police. I also suggest you do not respond in any way to his texts - nothing at all. just save them.

ImperialBlether Fri 22-Apr-16 14:16:17

I think I'd have a very, very good look around at things like smoke alarms etc in the house as he could well have cameras in them. He sounds like he has no boundaries at all.

loveyoutothemoon Fri 22-Apr-16 14:16:39

Why not ask him how he knows all of this/why he's commenting on everything??

chaseisonthecase Fri 22-Apr-16 14:24:32

No the guy I'm seeing lives not too far away so tends to walk to my house.
It is the house I shared with my ex. He has had access to it in the past. However, I try not to let him past the hallway when he comes to collect the children now.
He has form for previously spying/snooping. Before I got the locks changed and he still had a key he would come round when I was out and count how many condoms were in the drawer in my bedroom. I started hiding them to piss him off. (Nor my brightest idea in hindsight).
I have tred to ask him how he know stuff, etc. But he just ignores me.

ImperialBlether Fri 22-Apr-16 14:29:02

He sounds horrendous. Is he seeing someone? Often that sort of behaviour stops then.

chaseisonthecase Fri 22-Apr-16 14:33:45

No he's not seeing anyone. He seems too preoccupied with making my life a misery at the moment to be interested to be honest.
I joined an OLD site a few months back. He found my profile and set one up with almost the exact same username but with the words the other way round (eg. Mine: HarryPottersGlasses, His: TheGlassesOfHarryPotter. Obvs not that but you see what I mean!)
He's gone through my phone while I was sleeping and taken photographs if messages I'd sent to a friend too.
Sane people don't do that do they?

AttilaTheMeerkat Fri 22-Apr-16 14:45:09

No they do not do that.

Have you spoken to the police? You need their involvement now.

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