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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

OMG is he cheating?

58 replies

newworldnow · 21/04/2016 22:25

.just snooped on his phone(be patient) and saw that he has deleted location history for Saturday day and night. well he must have done because there's history for every other day.
This is important because I went out with friends and got tipsy and got home an went straight to bed.
Only notice him in the morning and think everything ok. Go for breakfast and his phone has no charge. He always, always charges his phone at night. Odd I think.
Go shopping and lunch emotionally distant. When I say cant find anything to buy he says well these clothes are for unrealistic 25 year olds. Odd thing to say. What should I wear then? A sack? Dick.
Still hasn't dawned on me then we have sex and he takes ages?
Then has been going to loo with phone etc, WTF?
Thing is don't know how to handle this. Haven't said anything yet.
Also he made a point of telling me he went out for a coffee when I went to bed and went to bed....has own room due to snoring......at 9.30.
Wondering if I have been made a total fool of. Won't drink again(celebration one off). For all I know he could have been out all night.

OP posts:

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newworldnow · 21/04/2016 22:49

any opinions please?

OP posts:

Uncoping · 21/04/2016 23:06

Why are you looking at his location history?
Snooping isn't right, and there must have been a previous reason for you to feel like you need to snoop.
You obviously have your doubts, he doesn't sound very engaged and I think you should talk to him about this?

Redglitter · 21/04/2016 23:08

I looked at my location history a few days ago and there are huge chunks of it missing. It also has me in places I wasn't. Don't rely on it as proof

Uncoping · 21/04/2016 23:09

What on earth is a location history anyway? Do I have one?? I have an iPhone?

haveacupoftea · 21/04/2016 23:11

You seem to be reading into things a lot more than is healthy. Maybe something else is worrying him?

Redglitter · 21/04/2016 23:12

You probably will have. It's hidden in your phone but on android shows as a calendar. You click on a date and it shows where you've been that day.

hownottofuckup · 21/04/2016 23:14

We're you already suspicious before this?

newworldnow · 21/04/2016 23:15

well I thought it unusual to have a whole day missing. The reason I snooped is because his behaviour was strange and being protective of his phone. Otherwise I wouldn't have noticed.
He has cheated in the past. why would he go off into the night for a coffee?

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newworldnow · 21/04/2016 23:18

maybe I'm being paranoid but I don't know.

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Uncoping · 21/04/2016 23:18

If he has cheated in the past, likelihood is he's cheating now.
Sleekit behaviour and acting dodgy, previous history of cheating... It's not looking good OP!

hownottofuckup · 21/04/2016 23:19

So it's not the lack of history as much as you don't trust him, he has form and has been acting off?

newworldnow · 21/04/2016 23:21

that's what I thought. Wasn't looking for anything before all this. Just seems weird.

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newworldnow · 21/04/2016 23:23

He has let me look at his phone and became slightly aggressive and has gone to bed early. Thus avoiding me. Didn't say anything. DS in house.

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BibbtyBobbityFeckOff · 21/04/2016 23:25

He has cheated in the past, you think he is again. Is this really a relationship you want to be in?

Uncoping · 21/04/2016 23:25

You should maybe try telling him you have concerns.
His aggressiveness is a bit suspicious.
I can understand him wanting privacy but some things come with the territory of being a cheating bastard - invaded privacy is one of these things.

newworldnow · 21/04/2016 23:27

I just have an awful feeling that he's used me being drunk to go off into the night.
Also remember when I awoke he was dressed. It was my birthday. It was early. Why would he not just have a dressing gown on?

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ILikeUranus · 21/04/2016 23:27

Protective over his phone and taking it to the loo is a massive red flag. Coupled with odd behaviour and a missing day/deleted location history I'd be very suspicious too.

Uncoping · 21/04/2016 23:27

These are probably things you should ask him

newworldnow · 21/04/2016 23:28

Just trying to make sense of it. Just looked tonight.

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Uncoping · 21/04/2016 23:29

I think the way you've described him isn't painting a great picture.
If he's cheated before I really wouldn't be surprised if he is doing it again.
You need to find out for your own peace of mind.

newworldnow · 21/04/2016 23:31

No I wont lower myself to say anything. Will make a decision based on no one deserves to live with no trust. Just sounds so dodgy.

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AnchorDownDeepBreath · 21/04/2016 23:35

From what you've said, we can determine that there's something or someone on his phone that he doesn't want you to see, he's probably been somewhere that he doesn't want you to see enough to delete his whole location history, and he's got something on his mind.

We could also infer that he stayed out all night on Saturday and was tired and distant for a reason.

If it looks like a spade and sounds like a spade, it's going to be a spade. Talk to him, but don't expect much. Will you leave this time? It seems he thinks you won't.

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newworldnow · 21/04/2016 23:35

He should be going all out to make sure I can trust him. Hmmmmmmn.
Well I'm not going to rant or rave because I wouldn't waste energy on him. Once they've cheated if they go into that bubble of just going through the motions and talking shit about 25 year olds and being emotionally absent its not good.

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notapizzaeater · 21/04/2016 23:38

Regardless of whether he has or hasn't the trust has gone :-(

newworldnow · 21/04/2016 23:42

I wont talk to him because I'll just get a load of defensiveness such as you tell me why its deleted bullshit.
Right am going to say nothing and get my act together re being ready to leave.
Thing is he knows he did this because he was protective of his phone all of a sudden.
Thing is I now feel quite indifferent if its true. He can go to hell this time.

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