What's fair?

[MikePesterday]

I'm looking to get your opinion on the following scenario. My husband and I have made the decision to separate and I will be keeping our home that is currently jointly owned, I will be buying him out though and giving him his share of the equity. The problem is that I was gifted £20000 a while back from one of my family members with the request that it must be paid towards our mortgage. Now that we are separating we are disagreeing on how this money should be split. My view is that we should half the equity down the middle and then take the £20000 off of his half whereas he is saying that I should take off the £20000 first and then split the difference. His suggestion effectively leaves me worse off and him benefitting from this gift whereas my suggestion means I get the full £20000 back. What do you think is fair here?

[Joysmum]

Split the equity after the money has gone towards the mortgage as the person gifted it intended. The gift is a marital asset.

[Cabrinha]

Honestly, what would you think if the money had come from his relative?

You can argue that inheritance is not a marital asset, sometimes successfully. But I think legally that's less persuasive here because it was specifically given to go to the mortgage in what your relative knew was a jointly owned property.

I would split the gift equally.

Unless you we're divorcing because he was a total arsehole, in which case I'd speak to a solicitor about my chances!

What about the rest of the financial split? Do you feel it's fair? Are you trying to redress other things you feel are unfair?

[MikePesterday]

Thanks for your responses. I see your points but I suppose I am feeling a bit hard done by as I don't think he's being fair elsewhere. He is self employed and a high earner but any money that we have is in the business account which I don't have access to. He is telling me there is no money available /left to give me after he pays what tax is due in 2017 but I think this is wrong and unfair as he will be earning between now and then so why should any money we have currently be put aside for tax just now that isn't actually due till 2017?!

Also, he is disputing how much money he needs to pay in maintenance, saying this should be calculated on his basic salary which is the bare minimum i.e. £12000 rather than taking in to account the very large dividends he pays himself quarterly.

Sorry for drip feeding and having a bit of a vent!

[MyKingdomForBrie]

Your way isn't fair at at all! He's not benefitting from your gift of you take it first, you're effectively making him pay you 20k rather than take it from the equity, how is that fair?! Your way you end up with double the extra amount.

[Cabrinha]

Right, that's why I asked about you redressing other things!
Because your suggestion was so obviously unfair that I guessed you must be annoyed about sonething else.
He is taking the piss about maintenance.
And it's a bad sign that you don't see the business account.
What about pensions?
And if he's the higher earner, why are you talking about 50/50 splits on the equity?

Please tell me you've taken legal advice? Because I think you're going to say that you haven't. You must before you agree to anything. And definitely don't agree until you've had full disclosure - that'll include the business stuff.

No need to go shouting "see you in court!". Just tell him that it's very complicated, what with tax to consider as well as house and inheritance and pensions etc. And that you think the way to be fair and keep emotions out would be to use a solicitor to make the proposal, and then mediation.

Massive alarm bells at him wanting maintenance to be on a lower salary!

[ladylambkin]

Cms will calculate his income using HMRC income but you can also apply for a variation for the dividends which will also pull through information from HMRC

[tornandhurt]

Regardless of whether you have used the 200k gift yet to pay down the mortgage or its just sitting in your account for the time being while you make a decision is neither here nor there..........its a joint/marital asset already and should be treated as such, as with his accounts. You need to seek proper advice and pp above re: HMRC as well and CMS .

The fact that you have DCs though would, dependent on arrangements for the children, usually imply something other than a straight 50/50 split.

[Duckdeamon]

Legal advice!

[1DAD2KIDS]

Basically it can be a 50/50 split of all assests. Or it can be different ratio based on future need for both of you. Normally kids have a big factor. So you can do it his way or let the courts decide. But you will need a good reason (I.e. The added cost of being residential parent) to keep a bigger part of the equity. Just thinking it's a little unfair or I want a bit more is not justification. At the end of the day it's your call. If you can't agree in theory the courts can hopefully draw out a fair and unbiases split of assests. Just remember a long draw out legal battle can eat up a large some of the assets and be hugely draining.

[Kr1stina]

His income is his salary plus his dividends

Are you a shareholder or director of his company ?

[Kr1stina]

How are you splitting the business ? It's as much a marital assets as much your home, pensions and savings ( at least the part that he build up during your marriage )

I'm assuming that it's a small limited company that he owns or part owns.