Backstory, I am separated since earlier this year, marriage of 20 years. Met stbx when I was just a teenager. He had affair, tried to make it work, after some years I got the I love you but not in love with you speech. He moved out.
So for the past few months, I have been on an emotional rollercoaster.
Very very unexpectedly I met up with a male friend that I have known for years, and we spent the night together. So here goes:
- it was the best night of my life... although things happened, there was no piv, he made me feel like I have never felt before. Just so caring, complimentary, romantic (I know it was just a night but it was), in fact we did not sleep at all, just talked and fooled around until the morning.
- He is married! Yip. Well, so am I officially, but he says it is complicated. Yes, it seemed complicated as they live in different cities, his wife and dc moved last year and he stayed behind, he said they needed time. So an unofficial separation I was led to believe.
Only to find out in the morning, that he isn't really separated at all, he goes to see them every 2nd weekend, and stayed behind for work.
After this I told him he better get going, he asked me what was wrong, I said that I had a lot to process... he says that the issue is his, not mine, and that I had not done anything wrong...but my god, I feel sick to the stomach, I cant believe I am now the type of woman, that has caused me to be in the situation I am. I am just so wracked with guilt, I cant even express this.
I don't know what to do now. Do I contact him and talk this out... is he going to tell his wife about it.... if he does, it doesn't paint me in a good light does it, as we have a few mutual friends.
Just cannot believe I am in this situation!