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Relationships

Last night I was really rude to a man

42 replies

BottleBeach · 16/04/2016 10:00

I met this man 2 years ago Internet dating. Thoughout that time I have understood that he's not interested in me romantically. We had a goodnight kiss on our first date, and exchanged 'thanks for a lovely evening' texts afterwards, but then the next contact I had from him was 2 weeks later; a text at 5pm on a Saturday asking if I was free that night, which I wasn't.

Since then we have met up a handful of times, either for a drink or to go kayaking. (He has a kayak. I'm pretty keen and enjoy it, but not enough to get into it as a hobby of my own accord.)

We go long periods with no contact, often broken by him sending a text meant for someone else, leading to us catching up by text and him suggesting we get together. I enjoy his company, and I'm happy to carry on being friends.

We met up a couple of weeks ago and, unusually, saw each other twice over the weekend. Then early this week he texted to ask if I had plans for Friday. I was surprised to hear from him so soon, and told him I had some chores to do, but was otherwise free. He replied at lunchtime on Friday to ask when I'd be finished. I replied after work and he asked if I fancied a drink. Then we had a 2.5 hour text conversation about where to meet. Fucking ridiculous. Any other of my friends I would have just called them up and sorted arrangements like a grown up, but I think a bit of me was just seeing how far he'd take it.

I suggested a pub near me, he tried to get me to come closer to him. We live in the same city, about a mile apart. I explained why I didn't want to go far. He agreed to come to me, but then he didn't like the pub I'd suggested. I suggested some others. He complained again about the distance. He suggested somewhere half way. I was pretty bored of this by then and said not to worry then, maybe another time, and took that to be the end of the conversation.

Meanwhile my friend rang and asked if she could come over, and I said yes. He then replied 20mins later to say I'd "won", agreeing to come to me. I said my friend was coming over now, apologised, and said I had thought he didn't want to come. Which I admit was disingenuous of me, but by that point I was feeling annoyed with him and didn't want to meet up anyway.

So, I was rude, and childish. It was crappy of me not to agree to meet halfway. I just feel like everything is always on his terms and I was digging my heels in. Judging from his final text to me he's pretty annoyed. Should I contact him to apologise? Have I had him wrong all this time and he's actually dead keen on me and I've been treating him really badly?

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IrishDad79 · 16/04/2016 10:15

He seems keen on you. Do you fancy him? If you do, maybe ask him if he wants a relationship, or just friends. To me, it doesn't exactly sound like you're head over heels on him. By the way, that text meant for someone else is bullshit, that's an old trick.