Been single for 6 years, met a new man... my sex-drive - nowhere to be found!... Is this normal???

[PiperBeeley]

He's lovely, and just what I need after a seriously disastrous relationship 6 years ago. He's gorgeous and I'm very attracted to him, but I'm never 'turned on' if you see what I mean? Have I been on my own too long and lost it? I've tried, but it's like that part of me has died and gone away
Anyone else had this problem? I'd be really upset to loose this man, but I can't expect him to have a sex-less(ish) relationship... I'm baffled...

[ALaughAMinute]

Maybe you don't fancy him? What was your sex drive like before?

[PiperBeeley]

Before kids great, but my relationship broke down with my husband when my children were younger, we broke up and then I have been on my own for 6 years so I'm finding it difficult to tell where the problem lies. I had a brief relationship with a man after my husband, but he was very violent and aggressive and after I ended it, he stalked me for 6 months... I wonder if I have maybe got too many anxieties at play?...

[MargotLovedTom]

Have you been doing any DIY all these years?

[PiperBeeley]

Nope - think I'm dead from the waist down...

[suspiciousofgoldfish]

Could be lots of things OP.

Have you been on medication? Anti depressants? Illness, stress, anxiety, childbirth etc will all affect your sex drive.

In those past six years, you never had an orgasm? Not by yourself?

[WhatALoadOfOldBollocks]

Piper, you were in a very violent relationship with a man who then stalked you for 6 months, so that's enough to put anyone off of dating, let alone getting intimate with a new man. That's traumatic stuff! How long have you been with the new BF? Maybe you just need to build trust in him over time, then your libido will improve?

[haveacupoftea]

You had a traumatic time...perhaps counselling would help?

[Snoopydo]

Have you actually got to the naked stage? Sometimes you can't tell how attracted you are to someone until the actual moment.