Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

When do I make decision to leave dh?

(9 Posts)
Dizzyingly Fri 15-Apr-16 02:39:38

I am tired of his drunken outbursts.
He is a troubled man who is not happy.
I try to show him how to appreciate the simple things and be happy.
We have 2 children.
How do you know when the right thing to do is walk away?

Creampastry Fri 15-Apr-16 06:40:42

Because you are thinking of it. Because he sounds horrid. Because you want more for your future.

stilllovingmysleep Fri 15-Apr-16 06:45:26

What do you mean 'drunken outbursts'? Is he an alcoholic? Is it occasional drinking (not that that's OK but some context might be useful).
I'm afraid, sadly, you can't 'show' anyone how to 'be happy'. That's something he will, if he can, do only for himself. Clearly your DH suffers. Do you know why?

The question is whether you want to stay with him--and if so, why? what are his good points? It's not obvious to me, at least from your thread, what he's like when he doesn't have these outbursts. Are there good parts to your relationship?

fitzbilly Fri 15-Apr-16 06:47:57

You leave if you are not happy and the relationship is not enhancing your life.

And in my opinion, I'd you are thinking of leaving then that's a good time to leave.

stilllovingmysleep Fri 15-Apr-16 06:49:06

fitzbilly, if everyone left their marriages when they think of leaving, there would be no long term relationships left.
Yes of course if the OP isn't happy in the long run that needs addressing and maybe a separation is needed, but we don't have enough context for that.

hejsvejs Fri 15-Apr-16 07:07:05

Whilst you are thinking about wether you should leave him or not, start working on your exit plan. Make sure you e it money for a deposit on another property or somewhere else to go so that leaving is realistic should you decide to do it.

Joysmum Fri 15-Apr-16 07:40:49

It's right to walk away when the relationship isn't making you both happy, or better people, and the likelihood is that things won't change.

fitzbilly Fri 15-Apr-16 16:42:17

Stilllovibgmysleep I mean if you are really seriously considering it, not a fleeting annoyance.

I think if it's something you actually think about seriously then the relationship is going no where. To many people are in unhappy unfulfilling relationships. There is no need to be.

stilllovingmysleep Fri 15-Apr-16 17:09:14

Yes you're right of course fitzbilly.

OP could you give us some more info / context so that we can be more helpful? It's hard to know if these are just occasional outbursts or a much more established pattern. And how are you doing today? (I noticed you wrote your post very late last night so may have been having a tough evening)

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now