I'm leaving

[CaitSith]

Have posted a couple of times before about various issues with DH. In a nutshell together 10 years, married for 5, 2 small DC.

He doesn't give a shit about anything. Not himself, not me, not the kids really. I work from home so come the weekend I'm climbing the walls waiting to get out and he doesn't want to do anything. He's massively overweight, won't do anything about it, has health problems, won't take medication, doesn't talk to me, doesn't sleep with me, doesn't give any impression that he loves me at all. Have had the same conversations/arguments more times than I could count, so many promises made that never materialised . He's not a bad man by any means, I just don't think he's cut out for family life.

A dearly loved relative died just before Christmas and left me an inheritance which is enough to set me and the DC up on our own, so that's what I've resolved to do. Am moving back near family who love me and my kids and are so excited by the prospect of us being close (not so far that DH can't have regular contact with the DC)

I don't even know why I'm posting this really other than I'm so excited for the day not to far from now when this all happens and even though I'm still here I feel like I'm free

[huskylover]

Well done, for making a great decision. Sometimes, it can be very hard to leave a LTR, even though you know you should.

I hope this gives you some hope.....I was with ExH for 20 years....it went down hill (cheating on his part), I stayed for 4 years for fear of the unknown....finally snapped, as you have done....left him, got a nice house...2 months later met my DH, who is my soul mate. Would never have met him, had I not had the guts to be free.

Onwards and upwards CaitSith....exciting times for you ahead!!

[tipsytrifle]

Your excitement is testimony to the rightness of your decision. Heck, I'm excited for you too! Let us know when you're set up in your new home please! Obviously there may be stuff along the way you want to discuss too

[hellsbellsmelons]

Well done OP.
So glad you have the resources to realise your dream and your new life.
He's been dragging you down for too many years now.
Time for you and your DC to have a fun like.
He's no doubt what I would call a 'fun-sucker'
Get out there and live your life without this dead weight around your neck.
Enjoy!

[CaitSith]

Thanks all, and YES hellsbellsmelons, fun sucker is exactly right! I'm so looking forward to all the fun times ahead. The only thing I'm dreading is telling the DC. My youngest is under 2 so hopefully will adjust quite well, but my eldest is almost 4 and I know he's going to take it hard

Does anyone have any words of wisdom for how I can tell him/make the move with the least amount of trauma to him? I'm hoping that the fact that we're moving near family who he loves to visit and the fact that there's much more to do in our new place, instead of being stuck out in the middle of nowhere, will help. Keen to hear from anyone who's been through similar and has words of wisdom though!

[Twitterqueen]

Well done. here's another glass of for you to toast your new-found contentment.

Ref telling your 4 year old. I doubt he will take it as hard as you think he will. He's still very young and won't really understand. Keep things very simple and don't overload with information. Also keep the emotional stuff to the barest of minimums. Again, he won't get it. Stick to the basic practicalities and wait for him to ask the questions.