Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

House-sharing dilemma - need some help

2 replies

Achica123 · 12/04/2016 09:10

Hello,
I have been sharing house with 5 people for the last 6 months – I was one of the last ones to arrive, which meant that there were a few cliques when I got there. One of the girls is a self-loving, “look how great I am “kind of person. She is very touchy feely with the boys in the house and all singing all dancing miss. Popularity. I am not and don’t think I need to be really.
The thing is, whenever she writes an e-mail request to the group, everyone nods in approval. When I or my other housemate request something, it is done but not with the same enthusiasm.
I have recently written an e-mail about high music late at night. One of the boys answered – he agreed to keep music down on weekdays, but not have a cut off time on weekends because he stays up late. What’s more, he called for a group meeting to discuss this.
I don’t know why, but I am pretty anxious about this meeting – I have a feeling that they are conspiring against me. Part of me is saying that I am too paranoid, and part of me is worried.
what do you think? Am I too paranoid? Is this something I should be worried about?

OP posts:

Report

HeddaGarbled · 12/04/2016 10:32

I think it is quite likely that some or all of them have talked about this and don't agree with you so I think you will have to accept that the upshot of the meeting will not be them all agreeing with your request. Is there a compromise position you would be willing to accept?

Don't get side tracked by the miss popularity person. This isn't about that, it's about 5 people trying to work out some acceptable rules for sharing a house amicably.

If they are a particularly noisy bunch, this might not be the right house share for you and you might want to look for a quieter, less extrovert group of people to share with.

Report

Achica123 · 12/04/2016 11:05

Thank you HeddaGarbled .... This is very useful. They are not a noisy bunch on a regular basis, they have their moments and parties.

I am happy to compromise on weekends - my suggested time to start turning the volume down was mid-night and one of them asked that they change it to 2:00 AM. What matters more to me is school nights when I need to sleep early to wake up at 6:00 am the next day.

True about the miss popularity person. I am not going to get side tracked by that; but the idea that she is playing a double faced role is not sitting well with me. On one hand, she is supportive of my e-mails; but I know that she is part of that group too.