I'm really unhappy in my relationship and just don't know what to do. He's quite controlling and when I've posted before people said he was emotionally abusive. He's like 2 different people, 1 nice 1 a complete arsehole. We have a 3 year old and a 6 month old and he's the same with the older, shouts at her a lot and has no patience but is also the most loving dad. I think he has too high expectations of her and when he's annoyed and shouts a question at her if she doesn't answer straight away he keeps shouting for an answer which unsurprisingly she can't give. He has always liked winding me up to get a reaction and now he's started doing the same to her, he'll wind her up till she shouts or has a tantrum and then he'll punish her for doing it.
No one sees this though, to everyone else he's the perfect fun loving dad who adores his family. I look at my baby and know that if I stay the same thing will happen to her and it's killing me. I hate seeing how he is with my eldest but i just don't know what to do.
No one would believe me if I told them what he was like (apart from my mum who has seen his aggression first hand) so one of the reasons I stay is because if I left he would end up having them on his own which I couldn't handle. At least if I'm here I'm unhappy but always there for them.
I'd love a relationship where I looked forward to weekends, right now I dread them. Even nice days out just ends up in arguments. Its getting worse as time goes on as my confidence is getting lower and lower so I struggle with decision making and that causes more arguments. I'll make a decision that he doesn't agree with but because I get so flustered when he questions me on it I can't explain my reasons properly so he gets annoyed.
This isn't the person I want to be or an example I want to set for my children but I can't see any way round it without giving him more control over them than he already has.
Sorry, that was a bit long, think I just needed to get it off my chest!
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Relationships
Not sure how i can end things
8 replies
Bumpkin2 · 11/04/2016 07:57
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