I've very recently started some counselling, which started as an issue with bereavement, but has moved on somewhat. I really have a problem with identifying and expressing emotions, which we believe is down to a physically and emotionally abusive marriage many years ago. This led to me shutting down any negative emotions, which has now been going on for so long that I no longer know how to deal with these emotions at all.
So far so good :-)
However, my counseller wants me to identify 2/3 times during the marriage when the violence led to me freezing, or shutting down emotionally. In theory, this is fine, and it's something that will help. However - I have successfully blocked it all out, and I genuinely can't remember specifics. I can't remember the first time he hit me, or any time really. I remember having to wear long sleeved tshirts because of bruises, but not how the bruises got there. I remember that punches to the kidney area was a favourite of his, as this would frequently trigger a kidney infection - so plenty of pain without any external evidence. But I can't identify any one time or incident, or what started that particular situation.
How can I begin to remember something I've blocked out for decades? I really get the theory behind it - we will go through the specific memory and update it rather than me being stuck at that point. But I don't know how to.
I've got a week until my next appointment, so I'm not feeling any huge pressure to remember right now. Any ideas of how i can get started? How do you uncover a blocked memory?
Sorry if relationships isn't the right place for this - if there's anywhere better, I'm happy to ask for it to be moved.
Thanks
Pink
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Counselling - I've started, but think I'm stuck - [Trigger warning added by MNHQ]
pinktransit · 10/04/2016 21:58
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.