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Meeting someone new quickly after a break up...

(2 Posts)
misszp Thu 07-Apr-16 14:46:52

So I broke up with my long term ex a couple of months ago and it was along time coming.

I actually met someone very quickly and we have been on a few dates since. We have hung out, done drinks and generally just had plenty of laughs over text and in person.

I like him. I didn't expect to, but I do and there is something about him. He's a nice guy, he is HOT, it's all very laid back and there is nothing false about him. He's the type of person I feel comfortable around and could see myself being with.

BUT.... My break up is still raw. I am not in love with my ex anymore, but I am in a transitional period where I am having an absolute shitter of a time sorting out a new house whilst being back home with parents until I exchange and complete. Its horrid as I am grieving for my old home and old life, and in a way the lost hopes and dreams I had with my ex (but not in an 'in love' way). I am distracted, and stressed and drained about the whole house thing and break up, and I am just NOT ready to even contemplate going into fully dating anyone exclusively.

He is fully aware of situation with ex and how difficult the house stuff is. We are both fully aware we aren't exclusively dating, we haven't even had the conversation, except that we are both interested and both want to see each other. We enjoy each others company. Thing is, whilst I want to see him, I am just so mentally drained and I have no headspace that I almost feel panicked about having to go out on a date (stupid and feel free to give me a virtual mouthful).

I don't want to call it off as I like him, but I feel I DO need just a few weeks space whilst everything is finalised. I don't expect him to wait around whilst I sort my shit out, as that would not be fair, but I also want to make it clear to him, that should we be in the same page in a few weeks, I would like to continue pursuing things. I feel like it is right person wrong time kinda thing.

How would you construct such a message or call (we have only been on a few dates, I don't feel this calls for a face to face chat) to show that 1, you are still interested but 2, you need a little time and 3, the decision is with him if he would like to hang around and wait, or if he wishes to move onto someone new?

I just want to be honest but fair with him.

TheNaze73 Thu 07-Apr-16 15:39:21

As you're not exclusive, I don't see this as a biggie. Just say, you're enjoying his company when you're with him however, at the moment you've got so much to deal with & it's all so raw still, that you need your own time. Think it'll be quite a good call also to see where his head is. If he see's you as potential long term & is interested he'll wait, if not, you can get your ducks all in a row and move on. If You were dating exclusively, then this would like a blow out but, you're not so use that to your advantage

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