I know, logically, that she can't help it. She does care about me, it's just that she doesn't do small talk or lots of those things that people take for granted that mums do. She acts as if she is totally disinterested in my life a lot of the time whereas I suspect the truth is she is on the autistic spectrum and her brain is wired differently, it's not that she doesn't care.
But I still find little things sting. For example, she's going to come visit my DS on his birthday. I asked her if she wanted to come to his birthday party on another day as well / instead and she said "oh no! I don't want to come when there are lots of children there!"
This stings as it's all about what she wants. She knows we live miles away from any support from friends or family. It would be nice if the idea if helping crossed her mind for a minute, to ask if we needed any or even to say sorry she wasn't around to help. I don't even want her to help, that's not the issue! But just to recognise that I might appreciate help, if that makes any sense!
A toddler party I went to the other week had both the DC's GP's were there, it was lovely to see they wanted to be involved in way my parents just aren't.
The thing is though, this is silly.
I know she's not going to change. The example I have chosen is deliberately trivial as it's this kind of thing I want to stop being upset by! (I suspect ASD for many other reasons and it had helped me understand her emotional coldness towards me is not because she doesn't care).
How do I stop this stinging or will I always feel rejected by this sort of thing (I am in my 40s FFS!)
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How do I stop feeling rejected by my mum?
9 replies
arandomname · 06/04/2016 11:29
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