I‘ve been with my husband for 21 years, married for 16, with two children girl age 10 and boy age 14. We have had our ups and downs but mostly it has been good. Until about 3 years ago. He decided to get in his best physical shape ever and started working out a lot. It has consumed him. Until then I was the fitter person in the marriage, something he liked a lot, because he admits to be very shallow and have little or no tolerance for people who don‘t take care of their physical appearance and also have no ambition. About the same time I lost 3 jobs in 2 years and my self-confidence was just blown away. Then I got an autoimmune disease, had to go on steroids, was too weak to work out and gained weight. I finally found a job which is ok but I‘m way overqualified for. Since the he‘s gone ice-cold on me. He says things like „Haven‘t you eaten enough“ when I go for seconds in dinner parties and never ever says things like he did before, like I look beautiful. He hardly speaks to me unless criticising, why don‘t you have a better job „or „why can‘t you keep the house cleaner „or „when are you going to the gym“. My friends notice this and are seriously thinking about intervention with him. I have VERY good friends by the way. He does not because he‘s always so critical of everyone. I‘m also afraid he‘s setting a horrible example for the kids because they are starting to talk to me like him, especially the 14 year old. We do things together with the kids. But the twist is that he seems to sense when I‘m at a breaking point and the does something really nice, like treating me to a spa or a special night out. But he never takes me to work cocktails or his gym group gatherings any more. It‘s like I‘m an elephant! I‘m 158 pound but used to be stick model thin at 110. Which he liked A LOT.
Do we have any chance at all other than me starving myself and throwing out CV‘s for jobs I‘m petrified of?
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Relationships
How do I handle his behaviour?
Gitella · 03/04/2016 17:20
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