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No idea what to do, he seems interested and then fades

(23 Posts)
harriet2802 Thu 31-Mar-16 15:16:17

Hi. Met a guy a month ago, we live in different cities. We arranged to meet up this weekend. We talk every day via text and he has often said how much he can't wait to see me and vice versa. I asked him yesterday what the plans for this weekend were and he said he would let me know later that night. Anyway, last night he replied and said sorry to be a pain but he will defo let me know today. I was asleep when he texted so i replied this morning and so far I've heard nothing.

I know there's a chance he might still reply tonight, but what if he doesnt?! He usually replies by now and I'm worried that I'm just being ignored now so that the date doesn't happen.

Should I text him again if he doesn't respond tonight? I really like him but he often takes hours to reply but at the same time I think why would he bother if he didn't want to meet me?!

Thanks x

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Thu 31-Mar-16 15:20:27

Honestly? I'd give up. No relationship should be such emotional hard work.

harriet2802 Thu 31-Mar-16 15:22:52

That's what I'd tell someone else, and before I wouldn't have stood for it, but I really like him and don't know whether I'm being too needy and he is genuinely busy (is a full time dad and works long shifts) but surely he will have seen his phone since 9am this morning to warrant a simple reply back. Argh!

pumpkinmoon1 Thu 31-Mar-16 16:04:17

If it were me, I wouldn't bother. It's not fair to leave you hanging regarding the plans for the weekend.

IthinkIamsinking Thu 31-Mar-16 16:11:32

He is being rude and devoid of basic manners. It takes seconds to send a text so him being busy doesn't wash. I would not be meeting up with him if I were you. I know that will be hard but I would make other plans and if he texts tonight you can say that you hadn't heard from him so are seeing friends.... it doesn't need to be in an arsey way...... just be matter of fact and then suggest a firm arrangement for meeting... if he doesn't commit to that I would bin it and move on.

nomorechocolate2016 Thu 31-Mar-16 16:12:05

Are you feeling that there are no plans for the weekend and that's why he is avoiding you?

TippyTappyLappyToppy Thu 31-Mar-16 16:19:18

Ok i was going to say bin him, because you are obviously not much of a priority if he won't commit to seeing you until the last minute - he has conflicting interests somewhere along the line, but then I saw that he's a full time single dad. To be fair to him, that might make planning ahead tricky (childcare etc) especially as you are in another city so there is travel involved.

Only you can know for sure what your gut feeling is about whether he's giving you the runaround or not. I would suggest you just don't get back to him AT ALL now and just wait until he texts you, and see what happens.

forumdonkey Thu 31-Mar-16 16:29:10

It's 2 mins to fire off a text, even if it's to say you're busy and it's just basic good manners. Walk away - I did this myself with someone I really cared for because it is disrespectful and game playing. It's really not worth the heartache and waiting around. Set your boundaries and manners are basic

NathalieM Thu 31-Mar-16 16:31:15

Some people are just too indecisive and it can be infuriating. If he's on the fence, you should make his mind up for him. If he can't even be bothered to text you, it suggests he doesn't respect your time. You can do better!

SoThatHappened Thu 31-Mar-16 16:31:25

My last guy behaved like this. He wasn't interested.

I was a place holder.

hownottofuckup Thu 31-Mar-16 16:44:23

It's hard to tell, he may just be stringing you along, or he may be having to sort childcare and not completely sorted on that.
I'd leave it and see what he does. If he wants to see you he'll make it happen

goddessofsmallthings Thu 31-Mar-16 18:22:14

How did you come to meet this guy? Was he visting your city or were you visiting his?

Czerny88 Thu 31-Mar-16 22:36:21

I've had lots of experiences like this with various men and they have never ended well. Someone who is genuinely interested won't mess you about like that.

Chocolatteaddict1 Thu 31-Mar-16 22:38:39

He may be holding out for a better offer. If he was in to you this would have been sorted mid week.

Sounds like a knob leaving you to last minute.

noeuf Thu 31-Mar-16 22:46:36

Well is it that you have plans to meet for dinner on a particular night and its the detail you want from him - arrival time etc? Or is it a general let's get together which could be any time? If the former I'd cut him some slack and if the latter I'd cut him loose.

Kiwiinkits Thu 31-Mar-16 23:51:50

He is Just Not That Into You. Go away and read the book, then come back here for a chat smile

Kiwiinkits Thu 31-Mar-16 23:53:41

www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/141690977X

MrsRolandRat Thu 31-Mar-16 23:56:11

I have to agree "he's just not that into you"

All the guys who have been serious about me from day dot have never left me hanging where plans were concerned. They followed up, even if it was to confirm and say they were busy and would come back with the finer details later on.

You don't want someone with lukewarm interest. By settling for crumbs you are selling yourself short.

MrsRolandRat Fri 01-Apr-16 00:07:11

Have a read of this.

I like how he writes when a guy is Into your it's pretty obvious. I agree 100%

http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/5-signs-2/

harriet2802 Fri 01-Apr-16 10:53:58

Hey, thanks for the replies.

goddess we met in london, which is nowhere near either of us are we are from the north!

noeuf we had arranged dinner and drinks and as we are both travelling via train i asked for a time to meet.

he has sorted a time and a place to meet smile

noeuf Fri 01-Apr-16 12:15:40

Oh brilliant, I'd have been happy to wait for that kind of detail. Less so with a general lets get together this weekend thing.

Have fun!

harriet2802 Fri 01-Apr-16 12:49:16

noeuf thank you! he said he can't wait, so hopefully it will go smoothly on sunday grin

noeuf Fri 01-Apr-16 13:28:49

That's so nice. Don't get spaghetti down you.

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