I wasn't quite sure how to word title as I wanted to describe something that comes under sibling jealousy/rivalry but is more akin to the jealousy you experience from a partner.
I have had jealous partners in the past and what I experience from my daughter is more akin to that. I.e. when she was small I couldn't talk to anyone else without her interrupting or trying to get the attention back to her. Now I know this is common in young children. now 8 she doesn't do that so much but if her sister comes and cuddles me she will frequently throw herself at me or complain. I do show DD an equal amount of attention but she has never been particularly cuddly, used to refuse kisses and cuddles.. won't sit on my lap now. But woe betide I ever pick up the youngest and swing her... I have to do the exact same thing, the exact number of times and if I do want to do something that she thinks I can't do to her ( because she is too heavy) she fusses and whines about it. when I was still picking the younger one up when she was tired, she would whine and moan and I'd have to pick her up for a bit (she was 7).
Often she will ask me who I love best and says "You are only allowed to pick one". Of course I come out with some diplomatic answer. Her fantasy is that she lives with me whilst her sister goes to live with her father. "why did you have DD2".
I try to do everything to ensure things are fair.... if anything I overcompensate her ( I know this is wrong) but jealousy is a horrible emotion... so exhausting...
I know the root cause is her anxiety/ attachment issues but I read so much about people with jealous partners but rarely about people being the object of their child's own jealousy. With a jealous partner we are told it's not rational, it's a kind of madness and probably advised to walk away... but what can I do with a child.... I've told her I can't cut myself in half... I know it's a common emotion when a new baby is born but 8 years later.....She does play with DD2 really well most of the time and would be lost without her but she spends her whole life have to be number one in my eyes and asking me to prove it in hers
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Relationships
Child's jealous behaviour..... more common from a partner
8 replies
Annanentity · 25/03/2016 20:01
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