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Abusive ex partner, (Long one)

(4 Posts)
Mummyof02 Fri 25-Mar-16 03:12:35

A while back I posted a thread about my previous turbulent relationship with ex partner -father to both my babies.
Since then I have left ex partner and had our second baby very recently, so I now have a newborn and a one year old. (got my hands full I know)
When our youngest baby was born I didn't want ex partner to see him as ex partner was under the influence of alcohol and various drugs at the time so I told the hospital my concerns and why I didn't want him to see our youngest son at this time or the oldest one as when he's under the influence he can get quite aggressive and tend to kick off regardless of who he could hurt.
I also had to speak to a few health professionals about my previous relationships which they classed as dosmestic abuse and quite high risk. It was so high risk that I couldn't even take my babies home when the youngest was discharged from neonatal as ex partner knows where we live,
social care got and moved us out of our hometown so that we're safe. I know I have to report it to the police in case he's physically abusive to another girl but I'm scared it will go to court and things will get worse? How do I combat my fears so I can do the right thing? Like at the moment I don't ever want to return to my hometown incase I bump into him or any of his mates or family, things are that bad, help!

Dollius01 Fri 25-Mar-16 06:56:57

You don't need to do anything except look after yourself and your babies right now. Try to put this worry out of your head. You have been through a terrible time and you need to focus on your own recovery and your babies right now. Please try to be kind to yourself.

AntiqueSinger Fri 25-Mar-16 07:11:46

I know you feel a responsibility to prevent this man from harming someone else, but right now may not be the best time for you to do this. You have been through a traumatic time, have recently given birth, are likely suffering from mild(at the very least) PTSD and are dealing with hormonal fluctuations on top of the massive responsibility of two children both under two. Give yourself some breathing space and appreciate that you have taken huge steps forward. Now you are in a good place to heal and concentrate on your babies and revel in them and give them a secure start in life. You cannot do this if you are an emotional mess with lots of 'drama' going on in the background. Follow your instincts. Seeing his family at this stage would be a very negative experience. Stay away as your intuition is telling you. Make no contact with him or joint friends or his family. Drop them all.

Go see a doctor and get some intensive therapy or at the very least counselling. Then you will have the support you need to play with the idea of reporting him etc. Until then, leave it until you are stable emotionally, mentally, and physically to confront this. Your babies need 100% of you as do you!

Mummyof02 Tue 29-Mar-16 07:10:47

Thank for your replies, and I think for now I will leave telling the police and reporting it just because that made add to stresses and possibly escalate things further, though perhaps in the future when things have settled I will report it then and I also think I will see a gp maybe I don't know if I have ptsd I don't think I do but I could find out to be on the safe side, will keep you both posted on the outcome of things, once again many thanks flowers

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