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Worst chat up lines ever!

(21 Posts)
Backtoblackcoffee Tue 22-Mar-16 20:18:28

Ok here it is - I will go first - I was 18 in a club, the guy comes up to me and says 'did it hurt' and I said what? He says 'when you fell from heaven' ... a golden oldy that one winkgrin

Buzzardbird Tue 22-Mar-16 20:20:57

Think you might have posted in wrong topic?

Danglyweed Tue 22-Mar-16 20:23:19

My fannies as wet as an otters pocket!!!

Buzzardbird Tue 22-Mar-16 20:25:31

How many have you got Dangly? shock

Pancakeflipper Tue 22-Mar-16 20:28:37

Is your dad a magician?

Cos he sure conjured up something magical when he created you.

I didn't date him.

CrazyDuchess Tue 22-Mar-16 20:31:47

"The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice"

<shudder>

For context, I was 16 at the time......

Backtoblackcoffee Tue 22-Mar-16 20:35:25

Crazydutchess. Arggh that's terrible smile

BrienneofQarth Tue 22-Mar-16 20:36:50

'I don't know why, but I find you really attractive!' Oddly enough, that wasn't the way to get in to my pants.

TreeHuggerMum1 Tue 22-Mar-16 20:37:36

Do you spit or do you swallow?!
He's now my husband grin

CrazyDuchess Tue 22-Mar-16 20:40:00

I can still picture it clear as day <heave>

IamHappy1976 Tue 22-Mar-16 20:43:10

"How do you like your eggs in the morning?"

"Unfertilised. Go away".

ILikeUranus Tue 22-Mar-16 20:51:37

I've had:

Him: 'You're the best looking girl I've ever seen in real life. Seriously, you're the most attractive one in here'
Me: 'Er, ok. What about her?'
Him: 'Oh yeah, apart from her'
Me: 'Yeah, thanks' but NO thanks!

fanofthevoid Tue 22-Mar-16 21:23:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wonderingsoul Tue 22-Mar-16 21:45:00

Dp said this to me on our first date, sat In a pub in a corner table.

Him- I can read palms. I could read yours if you like.

Me-ok.. let him take my hand

Him- takes my hand... I can't really read palms I just wanted to hold your hand.

It was soooo cheesy and bad but it worked.

Backtoblackcoffee Tue 22-Mar-16 21:56:11

A recent one - can I touch your hair - touches hair - it's softer than my beard - o ok then confusedgrin

HelenaDove Tue 22-Mar-16 22:18:58

"Every time i see you i think Cor i want a bit of that" Said to me by someone i dated briefly but never slept with for a few weeks 26 years ago when i bumped into him recently.

-

Notasinglefuckwasgiven Wed 23-Mar-16 08:07:47

" Get rid of your boyfriend and I'd do you over"
I was 14, he was at least 29 and I ran out of the house like the fucking wind.

Horsemad Wed 23-Mar-16 08:17:42

Him: 'Have you got any Geordie in you?'

Me: 'No'

Him: 'Would you like some?'

Did make me grin

Anniegetyourgun Wed 23-Mar-16 08:36:33

Around 100 years ago, when I was young, a friend dragged me into a disco and we bopped around for a bit before sitting down for a drink. A young man at an adjacent table addressed me.

"Do you have the time?" he asked.

"7:30," I responded, having consulted my watch.

"No no, do you have the time?" he said more insistently.

"Half-past seven," I said more clearly.

One more round of this, then I appealed to the lad's companion. "Is your friend foreign? Does he not know English very well?"

"No," he said, amused, "it's a chat-up line. He says do you have the time and you're supposed to say something like if you have the inclination. He really wants to ask you to dance."

"Why not just ask me to dance then?" I asked, confused.

"Oh, ok. Would you like to dance?"

"No."

My friend said afterwards that she didn't know why I had turned him down as he was "gorgeous". I said he seemed a bit of an idiot.

TheNaze73 Wed 23-Mar-16 15:22:57

A girl once said to me "Your face would look so much better, if I say on it". Did make me laugh smile

redannie118 Wed 23-Mar-16 15:47:17

Him-"Would you like a drink?"
Me- "No thanks im married "
Him "Oh thats ok, so am I !"hmm

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