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How do I seek help when I'm worried about our safety?

(12 Posts)
Tuliptime Mon 21-Mar-16 19:53:14

Hi, my ex husband has been acting increasingly erratically and I am starting to worry about mine and the children's safety. He used to be supported by the crisis team but he's convinced them he's fine so they are no longer involved. There is no specific incident to report to anyone but he is very unstable. But with patient confidentially, will anyone listen to me? Just need a few pointers on who to talk to. I need to feel
I am doing everything I can. Getting locks changed tomorrow as I know he borrowed my spare. Thanks for any advice, be much appreciated.

Tuliptime Mon 21-Mar-16 19:53:50

Just saw the thread header! Going to follow those links now.

springydaffs Mon 21-Mar-16 20:01:41

Get in touch with Womens Aid 0808 2000 247 (call at night as lines busy during the day). They will support you and point you to relevant orgs.

You've probably found some good tips from the header though. Good luck op.

Hissy Mon 21-Mar-16 21:27:04

If you believe you are at risk, please all 101, or if in immediate danger, 999

TheSinkingFeeling Mon 21-Mar-16 21:36:26

Crisis team/MH services probably won't listen to you, as in my (and many others) experiences, they're crap.
I agree with the poster above who suggested to go through the police.

something2say Mon 21-Mar-16 21:36:48

Limit contact.
Don't let him in.
Ring for help if needs be.
Phone to hand.
Be careful when out.

Tuliptime Mon 21-Mar-16 22:53:14

Thanks all and yep agree about the crisis team, rubbish even when he was in total crisis. Trouble is I recognise the signs he's going downhill but as I have nothing concrete to say its hard. But volatile and real worrying behaviours all the same. I'll follow your advice, thanks ladies.

goddessofsmallthings Tue 22-Mar-16 06:21:45

Call 101 to make contact with your nearest police station and ask for a police officer to visit your home so that you can explain your situation and your concerns for your own and your dcs safety.

At the very least this should cause the police to fllag your phone number(s) so that a speedy response is given to any call from you and you may also receive advice with regard to beefing up whatever security measures you have in your home. Have you installed internal bolts and hinge pins on all external door,, window locks on all windows including those above ground level, and outdoor security lights with motion sensors?

Find your nearest Women's Aid service here www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/ and talk to them about the possibility of obtaining a non-molestation order to prohibit your ex from coming within a set distance from yourself and the dcs. While this may not stop him from doing so, it will serve to give the police the power to arrest him if he's found to be in breach of an injunction and this will no doubt trigger a referral back to the team he's managed to convince that he needs no further input.

Above all, if you have any reason whatsoever to fear that your ex is in the immediate vicinity of your home, don't hesitate to call 999 as the police would far rather be called to a false alarm than to an incident that may involve you and/or your dc having come to harm.

Tuliptime Tue 22-Mar-16 13:20:49

Thank you goddess for taking the time to reply and for your very useful advice, I will follow it up.

amarmai Tue 22-Mar-16 15:27:04

wd your gp be able to make his crisis team listen to you? Also wd your dcc allow him into the house or give him info?

TheSinkingFeeling Tue 22-Mar-16 15:30:19

Crisis teams (aka 'have a bath and a cup of tea' teams) are a law unto themselves, seemingly answerable to no-one.
The police are the way to go, I think.

amarmai Thu 24-Mar-16 12:27:17

then it's the police-who also can access sw.

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