H has been increasingly selfish and emotionally abusive over the 15+ years we've been together. Things have finally come to a head as I've been standing up for myself a lot more which seems to have triggered an escalation in the frequency of "incidents" and I've reached the point where I can't see a resolution, he has been blaming his own mental health etc etc but it took a serious request from me that he pack his bags and fuck the fuck off before he went to see his gp. Too late.
I'm currently working my notice in my job - which was handed in before the terminal incident and is most probably the trigger for it tbh, my job is stressful, long hours, no decent family time etc and he did nigh on bugger all to help me cope, emotionally, practically or helping organise the children etc.
So I now have a number of options, fortunately I have enough money to see me through for a while so that's a big tick in an important box.
I could stay, chuck him out, but it's unlikely ill be able to afford to stay in this house unless I went back to very full time work.
I could rent a cheap house locally, kids could stay in their schools, I could afford to earn less and then when the marital home was sold I could afford to buy here.
I could go back to my employer and ask that my notice be cancelled, and move close enough to work to cut out my commute. Children would have to change schools.
My current thought is that if I am going to disrupt my kids, I may as well move to my home county, 200ish miles away. My mum and sister are there. My oldest most supportive friend is there. The only sticking point is moving my kids away from everything they know, just because their father is a twat. I cant seem to come to terms with this in my mind at all. Moving home would give me a fresh start, with people I love around me. Also from a practical pov my mum's health could be better, nothing serious but she has long term conditions which affect her day to day life. It would be nice to be nearer to her.
The thought of doing any of the above terrifies me, and I keep changing my.mind as to which would be best. The fact that I won't have a job in six weeks kind of helps in some ways but not in others.
It would be really help to hear anyone's experience, thank you.
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Relationships
Marriage unlikely to survive... wibu to leave and move 200 miles away?
RainbowDashed · 19/03/2016 19:09
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