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What happens after the end?

(11 Posts)
YouKnowN0thingJ0nSnow Sat 19-Mar-16 17:41:01

Advice please, I'm sure many of you have been in this position... Short background is my partner and I have young kids & a house together. He is emotionally abusive. I want to tell him to F off and leave as I feel this really could be the end, but I have a rather large hunch this will not go smoothly (does it ever). I work part time but wouldn't be able to even afford the mortgage on my wages let alone all the other stuff too.
Basically, what did/would you do if in this situation? Finance wise? Is sell the house the only option? And what if he doesn't want to sell the house or he won't leave the house? I don't know where to even start. Ideally I don't want to move the kids, we only moved recently. Not knowing what will happen to us is terrifying and puts me off making a stand and ending it.

Farahilda Sat 19-Mar-16 17:55:31

Not married?

It might be best if he bought you out if the house, and so you can then move to somewhere you can afford. Because much as you want the DC to stay put, if you can't afford the house you can't afford it, and seeking an order to stay just ties you to him for longer IYSWIM.

Chorltonswheelies422 Sat 19-Mar-16 17:59:21

I would go and get some advice - most solicitors offer a free short consultation.

QuiteLikely5 Sat 19-Mar-16 17:59:44

Would his maintenance cover the mortgage?

Chorltonswheelies422 Sat 19-Mar-16 18:00:08

Sorry missed out the word legal. I meant I would get legal advice first

Chorltonswheelies422 Sat 19-Mar-16 18:01:20

In the meantime sure other mn will be along soon. You can also post a thread on money saving expert

YouKnowN0thingJ0nSnow Sat 19-Mar-16 19:53:18

Thanks for your replies. No not married. Yes you are probably right about seeking legal advice, I don't really know much about what my rights would be. I don't know if maintenance would cover the mortgage,how is the amount payable in maintenance worked out?

Farahilda Sun 20-Mar-16 10:43:53

You should be able to get a rough idea of CM payable by using online tools such as this one: www.gov.uk/child-maintenance/overview

You'll probably find that mortgage providers are reluctant to lend against it though, because of the possibility that it will not be paid regularly and on time.

Roses43 Sun 20-Mar-16 12:21:59

Look for private renting. Find a house, view it, then negotiate, ideally you would have the deposit money, sail through the references or have a guarantor in place.
Do you have or could you get any of that?
It depends on what your priorities are. You can spend a few years fighting over bricks and mortar dragging yourself and children through unnecessary crap or you can get yourself to a safer more pleasant place and rebuild your life.
The choice is yours. It really is smile

Roses43 Sun 20-Mar-16 12:33:31

Don't be terrified. You have no reason to be. You will cope, it will all work out.
Stay strong. Nothing bad ever came from walking away from an emotionally abusive relationship. Only GOOD can come.
Take control of your life! If you don't, then someone else will.

HoppingForward Sun 20-Mar-16 14:15:29

It's the best thing I did. Took me a few years to build up the courage but worth it.

Work out you working tax credit and child maintanence and then start looking at your bills

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