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Am I insane? Possible uncaring step dad

(11 Posts)
gill9152 Thu 17-Mar-16 09:36:30

Hi
Have posted before once about emotioinal abusive relatioship with dh. I have a son 9 yrs and its his stepdad. Well had meeting with school pastoral care and parent support worker yest and dh said some of the following things; that my son lies about all his emotions! that he lies about everything, that he thinks my son screams on purpose near dh coz he knows he has ear problems, told them my son is gonna make dh deaf!! Doctor didnt say anyone could make him deaf! The parent support worker actually said to him, you seem to think you are at war almost with this child! I am not perfect, i do my best, i have been on courses to learn better parenting, as i have depression and mental illness and had a stroke which left me wtih cognitive disabiliies but i do the best i can. My son is happy, and i think we were making progress but dh thinks not, he never praises the positive and wont make time for him.

Blames it all on me, its all my fault, i am the only one who ever does wrong apparently. My self esteem over the last 5 years has just gone. Last night i wanted to watch something that i really wanted to watch on tv. Its rare for me to say something but i did last night and he was like oh so you gonna ruin my night then. Where am i supposed to go? why cant he go and wash up or read a book or ehatever if he dfoesnt waanna watch it with me. He gets to watych everything he wants to. Me and my son go upstairs from 7 as its stiuff we dont wanna watch. Sorry if none of it making sense but just dont feel i cant take it much longer. Fed up of miserable life, all the time, want to be relaxed and happy again not always on egg shells depdending on his mood.

Yoksha Thu 17-Mar-16 09:57:23

Hi OP, didn't want to read and run. Someone more qualified will be along shortly. Reads to me like if you ditch the partner, you and your son's life will improve immensely.

TheVeganVagina Thu 17-Mar-16 10:00:15

Why are you in a relationship with someone who clearly dislikes your son?

springydaffs Thu 17-Mar-16 10:05:05

Have you thought about leaving the relationship?

ImperialBlether Thu 17-Mar-16 10:06:42

Why are you living with someone who treats your son badly and where you and your son have to stay upstairs from 7pm? What a waste of space that man is!

LittleLegs25 Thu 17-Mar-16 10:15:57

LTB. He clearly doesn't like your son, you don't sound as though your in a happy relationship so what's the point?

Marchate Thu 17-Mar-16 11:10:57

You really, really need to end this relationship. Your poor son won't be happy for much longer. You could be in danger

Please phone Women's Aid for advice. Also, look on some of the Stroke charities' websites for helplines. They might be able to help with the practicalities of separation

He sounds very controlling

FrancisdeSales Thu 17-Mar-16 13:40:23

It sounds like you are both being emotionally abused by him and he is extremely self-centred and self-absorbed.

Arfarfanarf Thu 17-Mar-16 13:45:28

I think your child would be so much happier if he wasn't forced to have this man in his life.

goddessofsmallthings Thu 17-Mar-16 22:31:05

The parent support worker actually said to him, you seem to think you are at war almost with this child

If your son screams it's because he's crying out for someone to hear him.
Why are you letting him live in a warzone with a man who makes him even more of a target than he does you?

Please make contact with your nearest Women's Aid service and let them help you begin the process that will see you and your ds living free from fear and free to watch whatever you want in your own home. www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

Vonnie2016 Thu 17-Mar-16 22:38:42

I had a similar SD, I am now NC with him and my mother. It didn't stop as I grew up and he kept his bullying tactics up until I went NC, I am in my 30s.
Get rid of this man.
My mother chose her husband over me and now she has no relationship with me or her grand children because of it.
Sorry to sound harsh but your DS deserves to be chosen over what sounds like a total arse hole.

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