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Finally moved on from abusive ex, now it feels too good to be true I feel frightened

(4 Posts)
allofyou Thu 17-Mar-16 00:08:29

It was both emotionally and physically abusive. It was not as serious as giving me bruises everywhere but it took me a year to get over it.
Now I finally successfully cut contact with my ex. My 4-year long depression which was caused from various life issues was getting better. I feel so much more confident and happy bout myself that I am frightened. Tonight is the first time in a long time I shed tears because I felt that life now is too good to be true. I don't know what to expect next. I am afraid that something bad will always happen to me. sad

housewifedesperate Thu 17-Mar-16 08:08:41

I know what you mean by being scared you're happy.
I was split from my xh for about 6 months when I noticed people smiling at me spontaneously. I thought they thought I was crazy or something! Turns out I was just happy and smiling so people smiled back. I hadn't been happy for so long I hadn't noticed people being nice before.
Try to accept that you are happy, just that. Don't feel guilty or feel like a fraud because you are feeling better.

Millionsmom Thu 17-Mar-16 08:20:55

I remember when I was still with my EA ExH sitting in the car with him driving thinking, well, I know this isn't 'Happy' but its not terror. Then he slammed on the brakes trying to make my DS fly out of the windscreen.

Months down the lines AFTER I finally got him out of the house and our lives, I was stripping wall paper singing away to myself. I suddenly felt a bubble of happiness and it was pretty scary!! I decided, it wouldn't last so just enjoy it while it does.
Feeling and being happy is WONDERFUL, no matter how long it lasts, so just enjoy it. Yeah tomorrow the feeling may go, but it may not either!!!
25 years down the line, I've had more happy than sad and strangely, I discovered, there's no such thing as a happiness ration - ie if you are happy 2 days, the next month has to be misery.

I'm happy that you're happy too grin

Claraoswald36 Thu 17-Mar-16 09:30:10

Know exactly what you mean. I keep expecting my lovely dp to just turn on me. Even though he doesn't do anything ea at all. It's really hard and takes time to heal. Said to dp this week I feel like I can plan things a year in advance now and look firearms yo them. Post split I just coasted out of fear. I've been separated 4 years now. It's taken that long. On the bright side dd1 got in to bed with me earlier and I listed all the things we had planned right up to Xmas - safe in the knowledge they would happen/be paid for because I'm in charge of the diary and the bank account. Dd1 was so happy and I finally thought yeh, I'm giving her a good life a good childhood. She knows her and her sister come first.

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