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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Stop me posting PA crap on social media !

34 replies

TwilightRabbit · 16/03/2016 15:18

Please help stop me posting passive aggressive shite on social media!

Just split up with DP - I ended it, but I still love him Blush. He' uses social media massively, whereas I can usually take it or leave it. He's been posting all sorts of crap, including 'meaningful'' life/break up quotes from Johnny Cash, whereas I have maintained a dignified silence Halo .
My fingers are itching to post something though, I don't know why. I'm desperate to post a band I'm listening to, which only he will 'get' .

I am aware how shit, pathetic, teenagery and needy this makes me sound. I am also aware I should ignore and block him. My excuse is that I'm heartsore.

Help me keep that finger off the 'Post' button!!

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Slowdecrease · 16/03/2016 15:22

Ah post it if you want....it's literally old news(feed) with in an hour !! I say do it until the urge leaves you and you know you're cured Wink

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HoppingForward · 16/03/2016 15:24

Don't do it!

I'm 5-6weeks post break up and I either listen to music loudly or just save the image to photos and flick through them privately.

Actually, I went and bought sand paper today to sand down the stair banister whilst listening to music to stop myself posting, do you want to come round and help me? [Smile

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TwilightRabbit · 16/03/2016 15:33

Haha I'm listening to loud music , mopping the floor, washing all the cushions and throws, as well as planning my next sock knitting adventure. I'll be bloody knackered by the end of this break up, but at least I'll have a clean house and warm feet Confused

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curren · 16/03/2016 15:35

Don't do it. Stop looking at his.

I feel your pain. My sil does this with me. So so annoying. Especially when she is aiming at my mum.

But I just ignore it, turns out that annoys her more. Grin

It's win win

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MadeMan · 16/03/2016 15:55

He's probably got one eye on your social media everytime he posts something up, so don't give him the satisfaction of taking the bait; don't post anything related to the two of you.

Keep that dignified silence and if he's trying to get a reaction from you, it will piss him right off.

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TwilightRabbit · 16/03/2016 16:08

It's soooooo......temmmm......pting......though........! Also I haven't posted for 6 months (Instagram) and I had been thinking of posting knitting stuff up anyway but now it's too bloody obvious .

Sodding social media and its temptations and follies - it's like crack. My teenager is more grown up than me about it.

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pocketsaviour · 16/03/2016 17:21

Defriend him, or unfollow him. Put him on a restricted list so he can only see any posts you make public.

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TomTomKitten · 16/03/2016 17:33

Hide him, block him, defriend him or whatever else you need to do so that you don't see any posts.

Start posting pictures of your knitting on Instagram instead. He'll get the message.

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VimFuego101 · 16/03/2016 17:34

Don't do it, stay dignified. He's behaving like a 15yo. Block him or delete him from FB.

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Robotgirl · 16/03/2016 17:44

De-friend this man!
Seeeeriouslyyyyyyyyyy
Two years ago I broke up with my ex. The day after we split, he'd put a photo of his breakfast on there & made some comment about it being a great day. Made me so angry I blocked him & then deleted Facebook all together. And now I have loads more free time apart from when I'm lurking on Mumsnet

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MadeMan · 16/03/2016 18:04

"The day after we split, he'd put a photo of his breakfast on there & made some comment about it being a great day. Made me so angry I blocked him & then deleted Facebook all together."

Yeah he was probably crying into his fried sausages right after he took that photo.

Seems there's quite a few "don't treat me like crap" type FB groups that people suddenly and very publically join straight after breaking up with someone as well.

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Robotgirl · 16/03/2016 18:55

No, Mademan. He wasn't crying into his sausages.
OP, hope you're ok & can resist looking at Facebook & that you have loads of support in RL.

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SoThatHappened · 16/03/2016 19:52

I do it. I do it all the time. When I see a meme or a shit link that sums up how I feel.

The difference is my ex isnt my friend on fb and never was. Also I adjust the privacy settings on my posts to "only me".

So when I post the crap I want to post about love lost, only I can see those posts. I wouldnt inflict it on my friends Grin

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cleowasmycat · 16/03/2016 19:54

No point being grown up. Get it out of your system!!

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TwilightRabbit · 16/03/2016 20:12

Such diverse opinions! He's not on Facebook so at least that's my 'safe space' where I can say what the hell i like. I like the idea of 'only me' posts !!

It's Instagram and Twitter that we''re both on. I'm tempted to post but make sure it's not even relevant to him whatsoever - so incredibly PA !

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Teaandcakeat8 · 16/03/2016 21:49

You should just block him. You'll get over it much faster when you don't know what he's up to.

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Sweetandsour93 · 16/03/2016 23:58

It's so tempting! I used to tweet stuff after I finished with my ex, just in case he'd see Blush but now I just post things I enjoy. Why not go on a nice day out somewhere and put up the pictures of you having fun? It's not PA but it might make you feel better.

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HoppingForward · 17/03/2016 08:22

Mine emails. It start of nice but always ends with him "me me me" how he is being sooo amicable and then I get told to go fuck myself.

I so need to stop engaging with him!

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hellsbellsmelons · 17/03/2016 08:29

Here you go.

Sometimes your Knight in shining armour is just an idiot wrapped in tinfoil.

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat

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Drugsarebad · 17/03/2016 08:30

Don't do it! . . I've been there and it just becomes more frustrating when you get no reaction!!

my BFs sister is going through a marriage break down and they are both using FB to post quotes about being hurt blah blah blah . . .Whenever I see mutual friends, they always comment at how pathetic it is!!

Be the bigger person :)

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TheNaze73 · 17/03/2016 09:19

Don't do it. I don't think anyone reads them stupid quotes & thinks, that's profound. More like, they're sad! Don't cheapen yourself

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Robotgirl · 17/03/2016 09:54

Sometimes your Knight in shining armour is just an idiot wrapped in tinfoil.

Love this

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cbigs · 17/03/2016 09:56

hellsbells Grin
op one way to think about it is the best revenge is being happy and I sowed prawns in my ex's sofa bed so I can do childish

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TwilightRabbit · 17/03/2016 15:24

Well, I studiously ignored the sensible advice on here not to post...

In fairness, I just put up a photo of my knitting, so hardly very contentious. Grin

I would love to put up a non passive aggressive memey thing ( which I fucking hate) that just said Fight for me you bastard. But I won't, obviously, before anyone says Noooooooooo....

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sonjadog · 17/03/2016 15:35

Don't post that! That would make every other person who saw it cringe with embarassment on your behalf.

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