5 years ago I got out of a physically and then emotionally abusive relationship. We had 2 dc together who see exdp eow and holidays and have a good relationship with him. As far as I know he doesn't treat them the same way he treated me. I have no animosity towards him, just think he's a bit sad.
When My mum left my dad she didn't badmouth him at all, at the time I blamed her and it did add to the rift between us. As I grew up I realised what a messed up person my father is and although I love him I want nothing to do with him.
I use to choose men just like my dad, (cliche I know!) I feel that if my mum had talked to me about ea, boundaries, respect, that sort of thing I wouldn't have had so many crap relationships and my dad's behaviour wouldn't have affected me so badly.
Now with respect to my children, as I learnt the hard way I try to do everything I can to help them have good self esteem and hopefully in the future enable them to have healthy relationships.
I haven't let them know the full extent of what went on with me and exdp but I do point out some of his weird opinions and behaviour as I don't want them to think it is normal. There is no name calling.
I always let them know that exdp loves them very much and is different with them than he was with me. Also if I am honest I don't want them to blame me for the breakup like I did with my dm.
I know badmouthing the other parent is frowned upon and I don't want to damage my dc's by being negative about exdp but I feel that sometimes it is justified and that honesty is better in the long run.
What are your thoughts?
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Badmouthing other parent, always a bad idea?
17 replies
Doingprettywell · 12/03/2016 13:25
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