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Fed up of my family talking about children as nothing but a nuisance, even though I have different views

(6 Posts)
cheesygiraffe Tue 08-Mar-16 13:05:30

My family basically don't like children very much, and I am starting to get very fed up of conversations where it is just assumed that everyone else also thinks that children are a pain, that they're almost the enemy, manipulative etc. Yes, they can be a pain sometimes, of course, but they are just little people that are still learning and they need us for that. My family really should know by now that I don't see it like they do, and that I love looking after our daughter. Being a parent is a very important part of me that makes me very happy, and I feel so lonely that they don't see this and I can't share this happiness.
I love being a parent and seeing my daughter develop, and we raise her in a way that we think is good for her, and, most importantly:it isn't a hardship! I worry that one day I'll lose my patience with their point of view and comments, it is really starting to bug me. I can't put my finger on why though! Anybody else recognize this? I don't want this to get between me and my family, cause I think it is my problem really that I should get over! And yes, some of them have children of their own so not a matter of no experience with parenthood.

MyLifeisaboxofwormgears Tue 08-Mar-16 13:09:01

It isn't you - it's them.
Their views are mean and unkind and very selfish. They are creating a hierarchy in which children are accorded no rights and automatically painted as undesirable.
If your daughter hears them she will begin to devalue herself and think they are better than her - which incidentally, from your post, is exactly what you have done to yourself.

Why are you trying to understand mean and unkind people?

AttilaTheMeerkat Tue 08-Mar-16 13:14:07

What the previous respondent wrote. Its not you, its them. Do not take ownership or responsibility for their issues.

I would not have anything to do with these people; family are really not binding and you will be protecting your DD form their malign influences.

cheesygiraffe Tue 08-Mar-16 14:51:04

Because it's really painful, MyLife, to admit and see my family for who they really are (they are close family). I already keep them at a distance, but this is so basic to me, I find it really hard to believe they can really be so ignorant and unloving of children.
I think the fact that they can say those things to me, knowing my daughter, is like an insult of her actually, isn't it? Thanks, that was the missing piece for me to understand why it gets to me so much.

Atenco Tue 08-Mar-16 15:24:15

They are missing out on so much with that attitude, aren't they? I hope none of these people have children themselves

cheesygiraffe Tue 08-Mar-16 16:38:00

One couple do, Atenco, and it's very sad. They are really struggling with the girl, but won't admit that maybe they shouldn't have had a child. Instead it's the child that's the problem. (She really is just a normal child).
So, yes, they are missing out massively, and I am so happy and grateful with our lovely little person (actually not so little any more) in our life.

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