Anyone else hate Saturday nights?

[ciele]

My heart is pounding. I know it's just anxiety. DH watching a very boring programme. Married over 25 years. Empty nest. Long term sexual dysfunction and we are now very different people from when we were young. I know i will calm down. Just going to read.
Saturday nights are always the worst for me.
This is the price I pay for otherwise good life.
How many others are there out there like me?
I don't think I will ever leave...much better for everyone, me included to stay.
Thoughts anyone ??

[Hillfarmer]

Um, Saturday nights - why them precisely? Saturday nights were important when I was a teenager (now 50) and it was kind of important NOT to be in on a Saturday night. Is it that Saturday nights for you are now just like any other night of the week and that your DH does not make any effort to make anything special?

I'm a single parent. I divorced my EA husband. What is the price you pay for an 'otherwise good life'. There is something you are not saying here. I think what you are saying is that the rest of your life is not good! Saturday nights do not exist in isolation. Why is this the thing. It appears to me that you are unhappy. Unhappiness or even happiness does not exist in sealed packages If you are unhappy on Saturday nights, I should think you are still unhappy on Sunday mornings. And Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday come to that.

Very happy if you want to come back and tell me that's not correct.

Sorry you're feeling rubbish OP. You're obviously questioning whether this is all there is.

[ciele]

Hi Hill Farmer
Thank you for taking so much time to reply. I am 51. Other nights he is either working away or in the study until about 9.
We are just incompatible but he is not a bad man. I feel very middle aged and am in no position to leave. I tried it and it didn't work.
Sorry to be vague but don't want to say too much. I think I am just lonely but need him and the security he offers.
I am quite a selfish person and have always suffered from anxiety and need beta blockers when I am with him or my mother!
I have friends and interests that occupy but I suppose I think Saturday nights are for partners and it brings it to the fore that I do not like his company.
I do sometimes get anxiety for seemingly senseless things but cope well with big problems. I had a scary childhood.

[lorelei9]

So is it a money thing that you can't leave?

I can't imagine keeping anyone in my life if I needed tablets or booze to cope with them.

I guess Saturday night is the night you see things for what they are, hence the anxiety.

[ouryve]

Is there nothing you can be doing for yourself on a Saturday night?

[Imbroglio]

If you don't like his company it almost seems unfair to stay - for both of you.

Do you do anything together that you enjoy?

[lorelei9]

OP just realised you describe yourself as selfish
Wonder if that is really the case.

[Kirk123]

Sorry to day this , Saturday night is lonely for me , I am newly divorced at 50 after 31 years , you should not feel like this in your marriage , you will manage alone and be ok , it's just you have to either go to couples counselling and be open and honest with each other or have some time apart ?

[ciele]

Lorelai. Yes money but other things too. I am disabled and although not totally dependent do need some help.
And yes I am really selfish.
I think it's true I do see the lack of intimacy more clearly on a Saturday night because that is the time I imagine it would be special to be part of a loving couple.
When the kids were younger it was family night.
Imbroglio. He is pretty oblivious I think. He likes the home I make. He is a very detached person. I was not happy when I tried on my own.
Thanks for your replies. They have made me see what Saturday night symbolises for me. I never thought about it that clearly before. So nice to have people to bounce ideas off.

[ciele]

Kirk. TY but have tried both those and other stuff too. Just moaning. Hope you are okay. 31 years is a long time. We have been a couple for 30 years and as much as I moan I think it must be very hard for you after such a long time.

[ciele]

Ouryve. I was thinking that myself but the trouble is we both keep a facade and I am not up to breaking it. I could listen to my iPod and read but always start off trying and come to bed early. We have separate rooms so not a problem.

[Kirk123]

Don't overthink what everyone is doing , not many out dancing the night away at our age lol , all in watching ant and dec , my friend said that to me in beginning it helps when you think lots of people don't make Saturday's a big deal , like you my nest is empty and miss Saturday night all in together watching strictly and X factor with a pizza 🎉😢

[antimatter]

Those who left their comfortable boring relationships have other things to worry about.

As they say after a year of winning "life changing amont of money" all lottery winners are back to the same level of happines where they started befote they big win happened to them.
You can't predict where you would end up if you stay or if you go.

Beig honest with yourself ans accepting that there will alaways be price tag attached to whathever choice you are going to make is the best way forward.

[antimatter]

Sorry about typos!

[ThisIsStillFolkGirl]

I'm 41. Last night I went out with my single friends (aged 23, 40, 51 and 55). Today I sm going for lunch with another before going out with last night's friends again.

My point being that if Saturday nights are hard for you, is it possible for you to develop a friendship group that you can see while your husband does his thing?

Not everyone is in watching TV with a partner/family on Saturday night.

[ciele]

anti matter. Yes FOMO always there and it's stupid. I know you only ever swap one set of problems for another. And mine are minor so
FOLK. I do stuff when I can but I think it's trying to keep facade which makes me sad. Can't always avoid but I do need a default position.
TY

[antimatter]

I also on the past pretended that I was happy in a relationship with my exH. Keeping facade was very damaging to my mental health. I ended up depressed and that was after we split because I also lost my job and my absent father died.
Cumulations of problems left me paralysed with fear. I had to face all those issues and make sense of them.