Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

What's to stop DH just taking DD?

(8 Posts)
MossyMouse Sat 05-Mar-16 12:01:54

Posting on behalf of a friend who wants to leave her EA and FA DH and take her toddler DD and move out to live with her family a couple of hours away (she has nowhere to go in their current town). Her DH will not like this. She's happy to facilitate contact but what's to stop him taking her DD after contact and refusing to let my friend see her? He has never done any childcare but will dump DD at his DM's who would be only too pleased to have DD to herself. She'd go have to go to court right but how long would that take? And if he doesn't comply with the court order? I understand that the police won't return a child who is with a parent with parental responsibility. She's desperate to leave but terrified of losing her DD. Her DH is not a pleasant man and would do this to spite her, aided and abetted by his family who are very wealthy. She can't see a way out without having to rely on her DH to be reasonable which is unlikely.

Quoteunquote Sat 05-Mar-16 12:28:59

Is she keeping a diary?

MossyMouse Sat 05-Mar-16 12:34:45

What kind of a diary?

peggyundercrackers Sat 05-Mar-16 12:57:01

ive often wondered the same OP. I think if 2 people are living together either one can take their child but think they would be very unreasonable if they did that.

fwiw I don't think it matters that the DH gives his DD to the GP to look after when he is looking after her - he can do what he wants when he is parenting his DD and its nothing to do with anyone else as long as no harm is being done.

Quoteunquote Sat 05-Mar-16 13:40:50

keep a record of everything that is going on.

expectantmum79 Sat 05-Mar-16 13:53:53

Emergency residency orders are sometimes granted under exceptional circumstances if he did snatch her. I would ring the police and check my position. Have they been involved already?

littlerunaway Sat 05-Mar-16 14:43:19

Your friend really needs to go and consult a solicitor. She needs to get everything in order before making the move. Tell her to play her cards close to her chest and pretend everything is okay. If he gets wind that she's planning to leave he might strike first and kick her out and keep the child.

MossyMouse Sun 06-Mar-16 09:15:11

No police involved, he's not violent, just awful. I think she does need to see a solicitor but is scared because she doesn't have a penny to her name and fundamentally she sees him and his family as being more powerful. Thanks for the advice, I'll have a chat with her about options and maybe see if she'd see a solicitor if any do a half hour free.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now