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Finalising a break up and moving on

(4 Posts)
misszp Sat 05-Mar-16 08:41:55

I posted a few weeks ago about how my 6 odd year relationship had come to an end as we just couldn't figure out how to make things work. I won't dredge up the reasons as that's not the point of this post, but I'm struggling. Struggling so freaking bad.

The solicitors paperwork has been signed snd sent off regarding him keeping the house and the equity I will get. We are both between (alternate days, no seeing each other) the house at the moment due to pets and where we both work, but come the next few weeks and once the paperwork is complete I will need to get up and out. It's all final and there is no going back from it.

I'm broken. My home, my life, my routine, him. It's all caved in around me in an instant. I didn't want it to. He didn't want it to either but our emotional levels, our needs were very different and it caused ongoing underlying issues. It's hard to explain. But the fact it's all amicable, that we still care about each other immensely makes this so much fucking harder.

I have to go back home to parents for now (I could find a room to rent but what about the pets, and forget renting a whole property as it's nearly double that of a mortgage monthly because or the area I live in). I love my parents and they are amazing but tensions at home are bad. There are many reasons that I won't go in to. It puts my frame of mind in an unhealthy place at times and right now, I'm struggling at that prospect along with a broken heart. I've found a house I like and have put an offer on it. But gut feeling sellers are going to pull out (even though they want somewhere bigger to start a family) and even if they don't I'll have to wait months until they've found somewhere. I debated actually looking for empty properties so there was no chain and things could move more quickly, but my budget isn't big at all.

I'm keeping busy, seeing friends, trying to make sure I stay focused on hobbies and work (work I'm struggling with and I'm easily distracted at the moment). It keeps my mind off of my situation but then I come home (don't really know where home is anymore,
I don't feel settled anywhere) and im a mess. I honestly don't know how people move through this after years of marriage and kids too!

I can't get rid of this dull ache, this longing feeling, the thoughts of wanting to run back to him, the idea of a future without him, and the idea of rediscovering me. I iust don't want to feel this way and I feel like I can't move on. I don't have closure,
I don't have understanding. I don't know how to do this sad

If anyone can offer any kind words or advice, it would be greatly appreciated.

Kirk123 Sat 05-Mar-16 09:07:55

Miss , all your feelings are normal at this stage, dig deep into your heart and you are so vulnerable don't make big decisions though , time will help heal you. , one day at a time , be mindful of your changing emotions . Sending you a virtual hug ❤️

pumpkinmoon1 Sat 05-Mar-16 11:52:45

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I don't have much helpful advice unfortunately but wanted to post anyway. Whether you have to move back to your parents for the time being or you find somewhere else to live for now, just remember that it will pass and this won't be forever. It's just a means to an end for now and it will just take time for you to get through this. It's great that you are going our with friends and keeping up with your hobbies. Just take things one day at a time and it will start to get easier.

misszp Sun 06-Mar-16 02:40:21

The whole situation has been made 100x worse by some random person I know messaging me on Facebook to ask if we were still together (why may I add unless she's knows he's already fucking about and moving on) and the fact I think he knew I would react to this, I can home this evening to find a key in every door so that I could not get in. It's still OUR house. It's still MY home. I haven't done ANYTHING wrong except to love and care for him and I'm absolutely in bits. I can't stop shaking.

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