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Do people ever decide they made a mistake by letting you go?

(38 Posts)
dylansinging Fri 04-Mar-16 22:15:57

Or does that never happen in real life?

Patheticfallacy Fri 04-Mar-16 22:17:03

I doubt it happens often. If you love someone you wouldn't let them go. It's certainly never happened to me.

SquadGoals Fri 04-Mar-16 22:24:30

Ex Dp did this to me about 5 years ago. It was about 8 months after we finally stopped contact for good after I met now DH.

He admitted that he'd been shit and had been too young to realise how much he loved me.

Told him thanks but I'd moved on and was happy.

Still see him now and again - we're civil but I know he finds it hard so I limit contact.

ThisIsNotARealAvo Fri 04-Mar-16 22:24:31

It happened to me, once. I had a very non comittal boyfriend for about two years and we eventually broke up because he thought I was too desperate to tie him down etc. I was gutted because in every other way we were very well suited. Anyway we broke up but stayed friends, kind of, until I met the man who would become DH. At this point commitment phobe twat decided he had made a massive mistake and that he would not find anyone else he would have the sad connection with. When he told me that I was massively pissed off. I had always thought that kind of thing would be quite exciting but it was quite crap really.

ThisIsNotARealAvo Fri 04-Mar-16 22:25:13

*same connection

MarkRuffaloCrumble Fri 04-Mar-16 22:27:54

I think there's certainly something about absence making the heart grow fonder, or not knowing what you had until it was gone.

I split with my dp for a few weeks about half way through our 4 year relationship. I'm sure that small window of life without me made him realise that he had to do better by me, as living without me was shit!

To be fair, I was miserable without him too, but believed I'd made the right decision. However, once I saw him again and we talked I realised what I was missing, so it wasn't so much the absence that changed my mind, but being convinced of his love when he came back and remembering why I'd loved him so much in the first place.

But TBH, I think that only works if you both really love each other the rest of the time and the blip/absence is out of character for your relationship. If you don't already realise that you're lucky to have each other before you split, then the fond memories that could draw you back together won't be there.

Muskateersmummy Fri 04-Mar-16 22:30:36

Happened to us. Dh and I met, dated, went our separate ways and then he got back in touch several years later. Said he'd made a massive mistake. We married 18months later and have been married now for 6 years.

MairzyDoats Fri 04-Mar-16 22:32:48

Mmm. It worked for Kate Middleton! grin

Betrayedbutsurvived Fri 04-Mar-16 22:40:50

In my massive experience, men come out with this bullshit when they realise that you've moved on and found someone else. Funny that!

clashofclanswidow Fri 04-Mar-16 22:55:14

Hmm, I thought this has happened to me but then I realised we probably only ended up back together out of familiarity.

Split with current ex nearly 3 and a half years ago and he got straight with someone else. For whatever reason, that didn't work and he came back and I stupidly let him.

Can't be too mad because I got my beautiful daughter out of it but he's just done the same again, left me pregnant for someone else! Will not be going back this time, lesson learned the hard way.

Agree with previous poster and on other past experiences that they do seem to come back after periods of no longer being in touch, wondering what you are doing in life and panicking that you have moved on/found someone better.

Frika Fri 04-Mar-16 22:56:44

Yes. An early boyfriend decided I was the love of his life after I'd moved to another continent and found someone else, several years after we split. All in his head, obviously, but he mounted quite a campaign.

dylansinging Fri 04-Mar-16 23:31:20

well I will hope then!

SoThatHappened Fri 04-Mar-16 23:33:29

I hope someone does one day.

Joysmum Fri 04-Mar-16 23:37:22

Yep.

DH and I got together in our teens but I'd been raped and was fucked up and there were 2 school years between us and I called time. Got together again when he was 19 and I was still fucked up and been together 22 years now. It wasn't the right time first time around.

VertigoNun Fri 04-Mar-16 23:40:09

Yes about eight months after he dumped me. It was a one off thing and a drunk call at 2 am. I was confused half asleep he got cross and put the phone down, a few weeks later he was threatening my life. hmm

HeddaGarbled Fri 04-Mar-16 23:41:07

Usually they decide they've made a mistake once you've moved on to a new bloke or seem happier without them. Hoping and moping rarely does the trick.

dylansinging Fri 04-Mar-16 23:42:16

Oh I'm not moping (hopefully) and doing all the right things but I just can't help feeling like we just had bad timing and we've missed out on something fantastic and hope he feels the same

TwoMag314s Fri 04-Mar-16 23:47:03

it's never happened to me. Occasionally I've had a moment where I fondly remember a man I ended it with but even in that moment I don't want to get back with him.

And the men who've broken it off with me, never heard from them again.

brew

Lovetruelove Fri 04-Mar-16 23:55:42

No - no one loves me 😁😀

dylansinging Sat 05-Mar-16 00:04:42

I must say, looking back to my first proper love. We got together when I was 16 and he was 20 and we were together for four years. Very, very much in love and then I am honestly not quite sure what happenned.

I think I hit 20 myself, started a new job, started going out more and flexing my muscels a bit in terms of enjoying attention from other men. As we'd aged, I'd gotten a little chubby and he'd developed into some sort of Greek God who could have any woman he wanted.

I got very insecure and so started to flirt with others, and he did truly love me and was hurt. I think then some absolutely stunning woman six years older than me asked him out and in the edn he split up with me and started seeing her.

Heartbroken isn't the word, I was devastated and took a job overseas, and over the next 4 or 5 years he would occassionaly write to me and occassionally come and see me and we'd always end up in bed and then he would leave again - breaking my heart all over again.

I cut him off in the end when I was about 25 because I knew I needed to move on but I never loved anyone the same way again (until this most recent guy).

Anyway, recently ran into the family of my first love and his mother and sister told me that all he had ever said for the past 10 years was that he'd never loved another woman again after me and that he'd always thought he'd find it again and never did. They both said I was his true love and he'd never gotten over it and in truth he has messaged me a couple of times the last few years very nostalgic messages too.

So I guess in that case he would have come back maybe but never made the choice to.

With this new one, we were only together a short time - but oh so in love! I'd not felt like that since I was 20 about anyone but I think he just couldn't quite see it.

He's a veyr honest man, not prone to too many words but he did say things like he'd never felt so much attraction for a woman before and he found it hard to stay away from me or stop thinking about me and that when he was with me he was the happiest he ever was.

I have felt like slapping him around the head with a big book saying "that's because we are in love, you fool!" but I just don't think he realised it. I do think in my gut it was there though. Suprising and unexpected and ill times and many hurdles between us but it was just there.

I am really, really hoping he misses me and realises he made a huge mistake letting me go!!!

If he doesn't, C'est La Vie

Redroses11 Sat 05-Mar-16 00:08:12

Please tell me you're not Adele's ex. She is like so over you and stuff

dylansinging Sat 05-Mar-16 00:10:25

Ha ha ha ha!

How bad was your breakup on a scale of 1 to Adele?

sassymuffin Sat 05-Mar-16 00:25:40

This has happened to one of my close friends. Her not so DH left her after over two decades together, obviously she was devastated and begged and pleaded for him to return. He was an idiot clearly going through some kind of mid life crisis, moved to a swanky flat bought a sports car etc.

Now its two years down the line, he has discovered it was all a terrible mistake and all the single women he thought would flock to his feet have never materialised. He has "realised" he still loves her and wants to come home. She however has met a lovely bloke who loves her and is now planning her future with him. Her ex is now behaving like a petulant arse as things have not turned out as he planned.

earlymorningwaker Sat 05-Mar-16 00:31:53

my abusive ex apparently said he did but he only said it once I was with my now DP soon to be dh in a few months. but I only think he said that cause he thought I'd come running back to him so he could control me again. I'll never know and never want to find out either

HahaVeryfunny Sat 05-Mar-16 00:38:27

Has this happened with friends at all? I had a friend who dropped me for reasons that were made up by another stirring 'friend' who'd got a hold over her. Would be immensely satisfied if she ever got in touch saying she realised what a big mistake she'd made. I could then graciously accept her apology but say I didn't want to be in touch any more after being so badly treated smile

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