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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

DRY 11

999 replies

TeapotDictator · 04/03/2016 12:08

Time for a shiny new thread.

Old thread here

OP posts:
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TeapotDictator · 04/03/2016 12:10

Thanks to everyone for their good wishes. My mother is about to arrive for the week for support, which is generally speaking a good thing (apart from the large stash of white wine she'll bring with her... Hmm )

OP posts:
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CheesyNachos · 04/03/2016 12:30

checking in. :)

Glad you have some RL support Teapot. xx

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jojomo · 04/03/2016 16:14

Flowers for everyone - I think we all deserve some!

The weekend wine witch is whispering to me with her 'just one glass' speech...I expected it and am trying to play it forward, I know it wouldn't be one glass and I know I wouldn't sleep and I know tomorrow would be crap. Must just keep saying that!! How is everyone doing? matron are you ok?

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MatronLittle · 04/03/2016 18:19

It's a sign!

Thread 10 ended - it's a sign I can have a drink and leave you lot to your dryness

Thread 11 appeared - no one will notice I've gone it's a sign I can have a drink

I am named by Jojo I could just not post on thread 11 and have a drink

I have typed and deleted this post 7 times so far.....

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MatronLittle · 04/03/2016 18:25

Dona I imagined your Kenneth impression and that cheered me Smile

Cheesy Lapland is supposedly amazing! Such a good idea to put the booze money to good use.

Jojo I have convinced myself that giving up anything takes loads of attempts (smoking took me half a dozen or so). I could just have a drink and rationalise that my first attempt was 7 days. How are you doing?

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MatronLittle · 04/03/2016 18:35

Teapot my DM smokes and drinks my DF drinks. I alienate myself when I stop. Enjoy being supported by your mum I can't imagine how difficult it is for you. Flowers

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jojomo · 04/03/2016 18:44

Aha, there you are matron...(can't believe it's taken this long to reference Kenneth Williams actually!!). Glad you ok and holding out. I am about to go and do bed and bath time - the kids, not me!! - but will be back in a bit. Tired. Just driven DH to the city for a stag night and will be settling down on't sofa for the evening when I can. Cravings, cravings, cravings...I really wanted some Prosecco because it makes me giggle but I haven't given in. None in the house which is good. Of course we could rationalise and have a drink (am pretty sure that bottle of red I was given is in the house somewhere) but whats the point? I don't want a crap tomorrow and neither do you.

Sorry must get these kids in bed, will be back. Distract yourself!! x

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CheesyNachos · 04/03/2016 19:56

Hey all. I am exhausted and grumpy and fed up so am in bed. I still use 'going to bed' as a default when I feel a bit vulnerable. Have been researching our Lapland trip. :) :) DHhas been so resistant (he is not much of a traveller - I think because he goes away for work alot) but has finally just given in and is starting to be affected by my enthusiasm. :)

Matron hang on..... the first few days are hard, soon you will be pink clouding it. When you feel so joyous and strong. It's coming, promise.

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Lucy2610 · 04/03/2016 20:03

Ooh new thread Grin
Matron you're not going anywhere missus. Day 7 is fantastic as will be day 8 tomorrow - jojo's right.
Cheesy am having similar enthusiasm about dreaming of trip to Oz :)
Stay strong sober warriors it's Friday challenge night and I've already had my bath and am in my jim-jams and quaffing sparkling mineral water. Might have a Seedlip seeing as it's the week-end! Wink

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jojomo · 04/03/2016 20:14

Back! Glad to be chilling in my pj's in my lounge with some chocolate actually- got a busy day tomorrow. Am watching 'That's so 1990' on Ch 4 and reminiscing...I was doing my a levels then!

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MatronLittle · 04/03/2016 20:27

Cheesy the researching is almost as good as the trip. Have you imagined yourself all wrapped up on the back of a sleigh yet.

I'm another one in pjs I've lit some scented candles and I'm waiting for gardening world. I need a hobby. A physical hobby could be useful. I know bugger all about gardening.

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CheesyNachos · 04/03/2016 20:37

OzLucy?! How fantastic!!

jojomo chocolate... mmm.....

Matron I have definitely imagined being in a sleigh. :)

Gardening is a brilliant hobby. :)

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Lucy2610 · 04/03/2016 20:43

SIL & BIL leave for Oz on Monday for 18 mths minimum & it's given me really itchy feet. We are saving hard to go visit them but this has drifted into thoughts of going to work there ......

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gladistopped · 04/03/2016 21:24

Checking in Sober Warriors :) Still ill - been in bed for 6 days now and just about starting to feel a bit human again. Antibiotics/steroids for chest infection etc working now so hopefully I will be up and about soon. So glad I don't drink now - imagine feeling this ill AND a hangover :(

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jojomo · 04/03/2016 21:58

Oh dear, I dosed off in front of tv! I have turned into my mother-in-law!!

Hope you got useful gardening tips matron...

Sleigh rides and Australia sound nice cheesy and lucy

I would like to go and watch tango in argentina one day, I love dancing

Another day sober!! I hope a good nights sleep for everyone and back into battle tomorrow. Saturday is a major trigger day for me...not sure how I'm going to tackle it yet...

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CheesyNachos · 05/03/2016 07:17

All these amazing things are open to us now our worlds (and bank balances) have not been narrowed by booze! Argentina would be amazing as would working abroad for a while. [happy sigh]

glad hope you are better soon- you have been through an utter horror time lately Thanks

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FuzzyWhiteLegs · 05/03/2016 08:56

Morning all, nice new thread. Hope all doing well this morning, wherever they are!

Funnily I have been dreaming of foreign climes too... Treated myself to some posh art supplies yesterday for my 300-days treat, and was struck by the idea of going away, alone, somewhere in Italy maybe just to do stuff I want to do - draw, read, walk the cities, eat ice-cream... Mmmm maybe one day!

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MatronLittle · 05/03/2016 09:46

Fuzzy congratulations on 300 what a lovely number.

I've been up since 8am which has given me a whole extra 2 hours awake on a Saturday. And I feel physically tip top (mentally still bashing myself). My family are all playful and light today (are they always like this and I'm usually just too hungover/asleep first thing on a Saturday to notice Blush )

glad I hope you are feeling better today.

jojo I'm in all night if you need to post your way through a Saturday battle.

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FuzzyWhiteLegs · 05/03/2016 10:41

Matron such a lovely description of your sober morning!!

But really, no good comes from beating yourself up - it's been said by pp but worth saying again- what you are doing now is what matters; you can't change the past, but you can change your future. Those horrible memories will be useful to remind yourself why you are doing this... Mine certainly are Blush BUT building up your esteem is what you need now, not a beating.

BTW in case you are perturbed by the fact I am still counting days, I wanted to reassure you I am not, not really; I just have an app that I check on every so often so I can celebrate progress. Not drinking is no more of a struggle than not beating myself round the head with a stick - apart from the odd fleeting thought, but they are more about the idea of drinking than the reality, and they pass in an instant!

Hang in there, it really is worth it - I feel mentally and physically like a new woman and just as well as the old one felt like shit Grin

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donajimena · 05/03/2016 12:24

Found you! I'm just checking in and about to catch up.
Happy Saturday!

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donajimena · 05/03/2016 12:34

matron you say you need a physical hobby... do you do any exercise? I took up dance when I got sober. I credit my dance instructor with a large part in my sobriety.
I had to become a different person really. The old me just drank.

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jojomo · 05/03/2016 13:14

Afternoon all, am hiding in my bedroom to escape the DS's and the prosecco pixie. I hate Saturdays!! My DH is in the last few weeks of doing an MSc and has worked at home every weekend for as long as I can remember. So he's here but not involved in anything. I take the boys swimming in the morning and then have to catch up on the housework. The boys (8 and 4) get bored and argue and the tension in the house rises all day until I crumble and go and buy some prosecco which makes me giggle. I put some crappy pop music on and enjoy dancing around with them until bedtime - I do actually really enjoy that bit!! But except I then want more and either feel miserable because I resist or get more which is a disaster. Even drinking more than a couple of glasses means I can't sleep so I know I have to say no. But here we are again...

I feel like a kid hiding in my bedroom. Which is exactly what I was for years as my own mother went on drunken rampages verbally and sometimes physically abusing my dad, brother and me. It's a long story and I have forgiven her - I think I understand her now - but it's another reason for me not to drink.

Hope everyone else is having a better day!! Think I will listen to some relaxation stuff before re-entering the fray...

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MatronLittle · 05/03/2016 13:42

Fuzzy you are a mind reader I was thinking about what happens in the long term. It is a huge inspiration to learn that others have done this before me and continue to succeed.

dona I also love to dance with or without a bar stool under me. Latin dance has great appeal and I used to go to many Latin clubs and drink and dance.

Jojo can you do something completely different this Saturday with your boys? Cooking? coding? Just to change it up a bit.

My family are big drinkers too. I just done the wine dance with my DM. She gifted me a bottle of my favourite wine and was so disappointed when I wouldn't take it. I feel mean. The exchange went on and on I had to refuse it 6 times.

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CheesyNachos · 05/03/2016 13:45

joJomo can you put on a few dvds for the children and then do some sober reading, or something just for you?

My DM used to fly into insane rages also..... her drinking did not help. I have not quite forgiven her.

I am about to take DS out to a cafe for ice-cream. My DH is working also.

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Umpteen · 05/03/2016 13:54

Hello all! Checking in to the shiny new thread.

Yes, no good comes of beating ourselves up (referring back to Matron's post at the end of the last thread). I too had a number of tricky conversations with DH about my drinking, especially in the last two years when I kept lurching between short-lived sobriety and extreme binges. It was hard to hear how other members of the family viewed my drinking. I really didn't know that it affected them. Blush I viewed it as MY coping strategy. Anyway, onwards and upwards, eh?

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