If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. Is this a realistic philosophy in life?

[susiesuesue]

I like to think of myself as pretty easy going and tolerant but i have a work colleague who just seems to be deliberately rude to me and never apologises or takes responsibility for her own actions.

She's not like this with everyone (and she can at times be lovely) but she behaves like this with several people, some of whom have completely stopped talking to her, others moan about her behind her back but don't seem to want to lose her friendship. I tend to take a deep breath, bite my tongue and think of a polite way to deal with the situation. However, I've reached the point where I really want to point out how her actions affect other people. Should i just accept that we are very different in personality and try and maintain some zen like personna around her, or by not saying what i think am I encouraging her to carry on being rude to me?

[BonitaFangita]

Susie you sound a bit like me. I used to work with a colleague who was incredibly rude, too the point that I thought he had some kind of MHI, I did start off tiptoeing round him which just made him think his behaviour was acceptable. I did get to the point where I'd answer him back, and he certainly didn't like it dishes back to him. I was always not quite rude enough to cause trouble, and it did make him think a little bit before speaking. It does make me laugh how people like that can give it out but don't like getting it back

[OurBlanche]

Not really. When you have rude people in your life you sometimes have to remember that they only do it because every other bugger is too damn polite.

Be rude back! Watch the incomprehension scramble their perceptions

[Fourormore]

I hadn't ever thought that saying meant that. I took it to mean "don't be deliberately mean". You can tell her how she is impacting you/others without being mean and it sounds as if she needs telling.