I've been with my bf for about four months now, and in most relationships I would imagine you have a lot of sex at this stage. This is not the case in ours and I'm starting to feel a bit frustrated.
He is absolutely amazing in all other ways. Loving, kind, tidy, gentle etc. But he doesn't want nearly as much sex as I do.
I've got my DC's every other full week, and he hasn't met them yet so I only see him every other weeks. So two full weeks every month he stays at mine pretty much.
We didn't start out having a lot of sex, but still a few times a week, and he said it was because he didn't want to make me feel like that was all he was after.
We then went through a surge and it was great.
About a month ago I was feeling really up for it so I started telling him about what I wanted to do to him that night in a naughty way. He seemed up for it. Later in the evening he wanted nothing to do with it and told me it put him off having sex when it was me initiating it. Apparently, he has never had a girlfriend before who has initiated sex, it's always been him, so this was something new to him. (It crushed me as I hate the thought of things I do putting him off, and also that I quite like being the one initiating it.)
Ever since he told me, I've stopped mentioning to him when I've been feeling horny, and just waited for him to tell me he's been up for it.
Unfortunately this is nowhere near as much as I want to so we have sex once during our weeks together, so twice a month.
Yesterday morning, HE started talking about the sex we were going to have last night. I then joined in. But again, this put him off! It seems I'm not meant to mention it at all!
Anyway, I didn't make a big deal out of it, said I totally understand if he's not feeling up for it etc. And went to sleep, cuddled up together.
This morning he was feeling bad, because he knows it upsets me (even though I am trying to hide it).
I think I've got a weird relationship with sex, and I feel like he doesn't love me if he doesn't want to have sex with me. Even though I know he does!
I'm just not sure how to move on from this? I can't have a conversation with him about this, as he doesn't like me mentioning sex and I don't want to put any unnecessary pressure on him.
But I'm not sure I can feel loved by someone who only wants sex twice a month? Especially this early on in the relationship....
We're both in our early thirties.
I realise I sound a bit like an ungrateful cow writing this....but any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Relationships
Lovely new bf has very low sex drive
hejsvejs · 03/03/2016 10:13
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