Back ground. Wife left me and the kids for another man and moved two hours drive away. I am now a working single dad.
I have been on an emotional roller coaster over the last year. Every time I think I have things under control it seems heart ache and sadness is always waiting to appear again to kick me down. I have discovered so much hidden truth on this journey. I have finally opened my eyes to years of lies, minipulation, emotional and some physical abuse. And of course to top it off she left me with two young children for a new life with the man she had been having an affair with. So now I have realised her true colours and definitely don't want her back why do I still feel so much loss and hurt for the married life I once had.
I am sorry that keep posting on here but it is my only outlet for my emotions. Now I am a single parent it is isolating. Basically I was fine again. Felling good in my self and also getting out there with a bit of OLD. Really putting my wife back. At the weekend we had a christening for the boy and my ex come down for it and stayed (we keep on good terms as I don't believe in keeping bad blood). Anyway we were for a couple of days a family again. It was so sweet having us both put our daughter to bed and share times with the kids. The kids loved having their mum around as they don't see her alot. When she left to home it let me see how much me and the kids have missing from our life's. How I so wish the kids could have the family life they deserve. Also reminded me of how loney I am on an adult level. Working and bringing up kids without an adult to connect with and share my world with.
I made a horrible mistake tonight that has made me hit rock bottom again emotionally. I looked at our wedding photos. There is one of our first dance. We are embracing, touching foreheads and looking lovingly into each others eyes. It captured the true love we had for each other. I love I never lost throughout our marriage. Broke my heart to realise what had been lost. Despite how abusive she was I know once she really did love me. I would never want to be back with her as I know now her poisonous nature deep down (don't think she can help it, she has issues from her past). But it's still gutting to have lost the family unit we should have, to have lost my best friend and lover and to know that there is know one who looks into my eyes so lovingly any more.
To clarify it is over. I don't love her and don't want her back. But I hurt so much for the life me and the children have lost (if that makes sense). What can I do to stop these attacks of sadness and loneliness come back and hitting me in the gut? I am so sick of feeling like this.
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Relationships
Tips/advice. How to get over the grief of an ex wife.
1DAD2KIDS · 01/03/2016 21:17
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