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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

surrounded by people but still lonely.

2 replies

ddeemummy · 28/02/2016 15:40

Hello. I did post last week regarding my anxiety and feeling down and I guess that is the main problem here deep down.

I have a fab husband who love with all my heart and 3 kids and step child who are my world however Im starting to feel like I want more out of life

I dont feel like ive got anyone I can truly turn to in need apart from hubby and his mum. My sisters are pretty close and are alwyas doing things together but wheres my invite? My mum is too busy running round after my other siblings to even drop me a txt see how im doing. If I ever mention I could do with a bit of help or a bit of company I Get told well youve got Dh!!

Its same with my so called friends although they txt and we chat on fb etc im not invited on days out with the kids etc due to my kids sn.

Sorry for ranting I Sound like a right sorry case stuck in such a rut at moment

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Lostandlonely1979 · 28/02/2016 15:51

Sounds familiar! I was like this for a good couple of years and things turned around (with a lot of effort on my part, which was a real struggle).

Why do you think people aren't inviting you along? Could you organise something relaxed and informal? Start with a little trip to the park or something. I'm guessing your siblings are single with kids or need a little more attention (so your mum seems to think) than you do. Which is nuts because everyone needs attention from their mum.

Problem with these situations is that they do rather bring out the child in all of us, the sensitive soul who can't stand being left out. It hurts like hell but I can promise you it won't change without a bit of hard work on your behalf. If your current friends are being rubbishy try to find new ones.

It can be hard to find the energy to try when you're feel a bit down (dare I say depressed? You sound awfully flat) but you're the master in all this, so try to take control, even with little baby steps to start.

HTH!

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ddeemummy · 28/02/2016 19:36

I sometimes feel like I could make more effort and then I think well why should I be the one to make all the effort.

With my family I do understand that my sisters have more going on in life than me but at same time im more private and dont like people knowing my struggles so I guess that could be down to me.

With my friends I have my childhood/school friends - only a couple I would class as close friends. They are always busy with their supposidly perfect lives.

I then have college friends who I would say im more close to but all live in different areas now its hard to arrange anything.

And then I have the mummy friends who I have met through years either via groups or meet a mum on an other site. AI have nothing against them but they dont understand my atruggles with the kids I often find myself having to appologise.

In all honesty I find it easier doing things with kids on my own. Its at point though I try arrange a coffee meet etc and nobody wants to know.

My husband is great but he doesnt understand my bad patches with my anxiety hes always nagging whats up and turns it all on to him blames himself for this and that and it doesnt help.

I know im waffling on. Im back at doctors this week about the anxiety see how things go

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