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am i over reacting??

4 replies

yellowsands0211 · 27/02/2016 22:08

my husband and i are married for 3 years and we have a 3 month old baby. i can say that we never had any major problem throughout our relationship and never caught him cheating. the other night i was checking his phone and saw that he was searching for a girl on ig and when confronted about it he denied it even though it was on his search history. i know for sure that he is not cheating on me i just didn't like that he lied to me and his defensive tone when he said he is not even friends with the girl. He knows I have trust issues having come from a broken family. We never talked about the issue after that night. But im feeling really sad and depressed. I've been through a whirlwind of emotions after my pregnancy. I also do not have many friends and my entire family lives abroad.

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HeddaGarbled · 27/02/2016 23:30

I think it would be a mistake to not talk to him about this any more. He needs to know how he has made you feel and that his behaviour was outrageous at a time when he should be supporting his new child and the mother of his child. So I would show your anger and upset, not hide it. If he thinks he can behave like this without any consequences, why would he restrain himself in future? You are setting yourself up for a lifetime of disrespectful and hurtful behaviour if you don't make sure that he is quite clear about where your lines are.

With regard to friends, it's not the number which is important, it's whether the ones you have are the sort you can rely on to support you through difficult times.

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ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 28/02/2016 06:16

How do you know for sure he is not cheating on you? You obviously hope he's not. But no one knows for sure.

What you do know is that he is willing to lie to you and has been been searching for women online.

You need to talk to him.

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yellowsands0211 · 28/02/2016 14:17

thanks for the advise. i brought up the issue again today and he was adamant he doesnt know the woman personally. I told him how I felt and that made me feel much better rather than holding a grudge against him. I still think he is lying about how he knew the girl but maybe his done it so as not to hurt my feelings. He also knew im a very insecure person. I just want to move past this issue so that I can concentrate on looking after my baby.

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yellowsands0211 · 28/02/2016 14:31

As to knowing whether he is cheating on me or not, I have access to everything. All his passwords and his phone is linked to his laptop which I can access anytime. We also work in the same place so I know all his friends at work and outside work. If he would be cheating, then that would mean he must be very good at hiding. What I dont like about him is that he has this habit of looking into porn although he never hid it from me. I spoke to him about that too and he seemed apologetic.

We've been together for 7 years as a couple, married for three years. I am his first and only girlfriend. That has some how made me think that he is likely to cheat because he has never been with anybody else. idk. i really hope he is not.