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It's happened to me

(117 Posts)
Christinayangstwistedsista Fri 26-Feb-16 18:09:16

Well after giving lots of advice on here I have discovered today that that man I have known for 30 years doesn't exist

It turns out he has sex with men, it turns out he hasn't been to work for a Long time and instead goes to hotels for sex, it turns out he takes crystal meth

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse Fri 26-Feb-16 18:10:53

Jesus, Christina! Are you ok?

That's a hell of a lot to discover about someone shocksad

hesterton Fri 26-Feb-16 18:11:00

What a dreadful shock for you. Awful. Do you have friends or family in real life who can support you?

PurpleWithRed Fri 26-Feb-16 18:12:00

I am sure there are loads of other mumsnetters staring at this post speechless with shock for you. Can't think of anything useful to say other than hope you are somewhere safe and have RL people to talk to (ranting permitted).

Christinayangstwistedsista Fri 26-Feb-16 18:18:47

I am just broken hearted for D's everyrume I look at him my I think I am going to be such with over whelming sadness and pain for him

Secretlove Fri 26-Feb-16 18:19:32

For him? Or at him?

Secretlove Fri 26-Feb-16 18:20:09

Oh sorry I see you you mean your child. What a horrible shock,

Christinayangstwistedsista Fri 26-Feb-16 18:20:40

For my D's, dh is gone

Bananalanacake Fri 26-Feb-16 18:23:01

Sorry, that must be a shock. If he hasn't been to work for a while how has he been paying for things.

Christinayangstwistedsista Fri 26-Feb-16 18:25:02

We have been very financially secure, he worked abroad and then we lived abroad, so money has never really been an issue

tomatoplantproject Fri 26-Feb-16 18:26:49

Please tell me this is a joke Christina. Have you someone with you my love? I am in shock for you xx

Christinayangstwistedsista Fri 26-Feb-16 18:27:28

I cant believe I have been so stupid, I have done everything that I have told everyone on here not to do

Kenworthington Fri 26-Feb-16 18:28:07

Bloody hell am so shock and angry for you, what a whammy of awfulness to discover.

Christinayangstwistedsista Fri 26-Feb-16 18:28:35

Tom

Its not a joke, yes I am at mums, taking D's to scouts at 7 as feel I need to try and keep a routine r

tomatoplantproject Fri 26-Feb-16 18:33:36

Keep your routine if you need to.

Glad you have your mum. She will take care of you.

Sweet hot tea for the shock - the sugar will help stabilise the adrenaline. Keep nibbling food.

We are all thinking of you. You got me through. Xx

tomatoplantproject Fri 26-Feb-16 18:36:51

Don't blame yourself, please don't. Its really easy to find plausible truths for every action that only someone who is at a distance can see add up to a wrong pattern.

You don't deserve this.

SharkSkinThing Fri 26-Feb-16 18:37:32

flowers for you.

How did you find out?

NotMyNN Fri 26-Feb-16 18:56:23

OMFG Christina I cannot begin to imagine the level of shock you must be in flowers

How/when did you find this out? How on earth did he cover up the fact he wasn't working - did he literally go out in the morning and return in the evening precisely as normal?

And what do you mean by this my love?

'I have done everything that I have told everyone on here not to do'

WHAT have 'you' done, I don't understand as clearly only he is responsible for that he has been doing so I'm sure you can't be referring to believing you had some part in that? Are you referring to the way you have handled finding it out

Just {{hugs}} for you, how very fucking shitty. I am so so sorry this has happened to you Christina.

Christinayangstwistedsista Fri 26-Feb-16 18:58:46

He had left open a secret Facebook account on the iPad. I read whole conversations

ProfGrammaticus Fri 26-Feb-16 18:59:09

Keep up your routine.
Keep things normal for the kids.
Eat as much as you can.
Drink plenty of water.
Go and rest at a regular bedtime, even if you can't sleep.
Go easy on yourself - ready meals and ask friends to ferry the kids.
Give yourself time, you can deal with this even if the way forward seems unclear right now.
flowers

PregnantAndEngaged Fri 26-Feb-16 19:00:33

Goodness me, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you are going through!

Don't blame yourself... he's been living a sordid double life! You are not to blame for this despicable excuse for a man nor what he did.

PregnantAndEngaged Fri 26-Feb-16 19:02:31

I also hate to come across insensitive, as I know it's probably the last thing you want to consider right now but I think it's very important advice: please get yourself tested for STIs

MoominPie22 Fri 26-Feb-16 19:02:51

Jesus wept shock WTF did you say to him?? How long has he been living a dbl life??

This is VERY fucked up!! I´m so sorry flowers wine sad

Did you never have any suspicions?

tomatoplantproject Fri 26-Feb-16 19:02:57

Was he just leaving the house as normal every day as if he was going to work? How long for?

What kind of a man lives such a life?

AnyFucker Fri 26-Feb-16 19:03:01

Christina, I have no words flowers

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