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Online dating(17 Posts)
I have been old on and off for a few years. Last boyfriend was someone I met in real life. Not long split from that one but want to dip my toe in the water when I am ready.
I have signed back up again just to have a look and it's quite disheartening. Every time I log on it's the same faces, people I have come across before.
I would like to hear positive stories of people who have met great people through online dating. What sites did you use? Did you not just thing 'ugh' when browsing profiles? What was it about their/picture or profile that made you meet them (not just anyone, but the one you 'ended up with?'
I have a tentative success story (about six months in). I used tinder in the end to avoid the browsing same faces despair.
The one I ended up with had 4 mutual friends with me (who I considered had good taste). He had a picture of him doing an interest I shared, a silly selfie of him and his dog... I just thought he looked like he'd be funny and interesting.
But it was a slog. I did the dating thing for 2.5 years on and off and didn't have a sniff of anything more than casual all that time...
I think other online dating stuff is just too involved and stifling from the off. Been with my DP almost a year and half - met on Tinder.
Been with my dp for 14 months. Met on pof, it was me who messaged him first. He wasn't the normal type I would go for but I remeber thinking he looked kind.
We spoke on the phone after a couple off days of messaging online and spoke for hours and it just went from there.
There are a few nut jobs out there but you fine tune you twat radar quickly.
And don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Talk to a few quid at the same time. I have a friend who once talking to a man online won't talk to any one else.. and wonders why she gets hurt when they say nah no thanks. She over invests inthem.
It's also a number games so don't feel bad about it ethier.
Thanks for all the replies. I thought tinder was just for casual sex lol. Maybe not then. I need to be more open to possibilities I guess. I get so fed up of it so quickly. Thankfully I definitely know what I am looking for now and hope that from experience I will get rid early on if they don't meet my expectations.
Match - been together 10 months
Similar interests on profile & when we got chatting got on well. Always straight forward - no games & got on as soon as we met.
Talking about marriage/house/kids in the near future
I was on POF for a while, got fed up with the same faces, got fed up with younger men asking for sex, was about to give up when I got a message from someone ( didn't really seem my type ), I ignored his first message as I was talking to a couple others at the time and the fact this one had dc's kind of put me off. He messaged me several times and in the end I caved in and messaged him back. We met a few days later and have been together now for 4 months. I had got to the point where I didn't think I would find any kind of relationship on POF after going on many weird dates and meeting a lot of ass holes.
Met my DH on www.mysinglefriend.com - he was in the middle of a divorce and I was 45 and never been married. The first year together tricky as his divorce was pretty brutal, but two and a half years in we married, that was two years ago and very happy. My approach to online dating was not to get too involved in endless emailing/messaging but to get out there and have as many dates as possible. It worked for me.
Met my lovely dp on POF of all places! We were both on Match too, but I hadn't paid the membership fees so couldn't access messages on there yet.
I liked his photos but thought he looked a bit cocky, so I saved him for later while arranging a date with someone else! Luckily that date fell through and rather than rearrange it, I chose to meet DP.
He was at the younger end of my search (4 years younger than me) but he lived close and had DCs of a similar age to mine which was important to me. I was drawn to him because he had pretty eyes, bit of stubble and a nice body, (but no getting his 'guns' out sort of pics or photos of him with a car
because his was a shit heap !)
The thing which actually drew me to him was when he messaged me he spelled everything correctly and used the right your/you're! He also said in his profile that he was a good cook
Turns out he actually is a bit full of himself, but with good reason as he is pretty bloody wonderful! Our first date was fantastic and I actually fell in love with him there and then. Been together 3 years, not all plain sailing with 5 DCs between us, but we are best friends as well as lovers.
Like Step, I didn't do endless messages either, a quick intro then where shall we meet. No point building up a relationship if you meet and there's no spark.
I met my husband on Match.
I'd been on pof for a year before that and been on many, many dates. I think there's a lot of luck involved and you need to persevere.
He sent me a message, I liked the look of him and his profile read well. I like to get the date in pretty fast as don't see the point in wasting time if I don't fancy them in the flesh. I moved in 11 months later, we got engaged 5 months after that then married 5 months after that. I got pregnant on honeymoon and our first child is now 8 weeks old. We've been together 2.5 years. We're 35 so always hoped when I met the right man we'd move pretty fast. Luckily he was on the same page!
I met my partner on POF, together 3.5 years and have ds 8 months. I tried all the sites including the paid ones but found the same faces on them all so decided paying was a waste of money! Lots of idiots and nutters and yes it is disheartening at times. I deleted my profile on multiple occasions. At the time I went on the first date with my partner I was casually seeing a couple of guys (casual dates and peck on the cheek only, no sex) but as soon as I met my partner I ended it with the others. I can't say what stood out about his profile, he was a little older than anyone else I had dated but I'm glad I stuck with it!
Thanks for all of the stories. They have really helped. I also thought that many of the people on match would be on pof and other free sites too so I was reluctant to sign up and pay the membership fee.
I met my dboyfriend on badoo nearly 9 months ago now. He didn't look like my type on his picture but something made me click like on his profile We messaged for a couple of weeks before meeting up, liked each other in RL straight away and have been together ever since. It's all going well and hopefully we'll be together a while longer
I met dp on ok cupid nearly a year ago. Had had a few dates but nothing serious. He messaged me first with a lengthy message that clearly indicated he had read my profile and gave hints as to shared values and interests. As did his profile. He also wrote eloquently which helped. From that very first message we just connected and messaging was constant. Due to his work we had to message for 2 months before we actually met but it was all night every night and the moment we met...I just knew. Now we practically live together and both acknowledge that this relationship is forever. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Don't waste time with people who you think are not for you. Read profiles carefully and be selective. They are out there.
My DP is not from OLD, he is someone I have known a long time and we got together last year. However, I have had plenty of experience of OLD and agree with many of the things said in here. My longest relationship was 8 months from someone I met on Match. Other than that it was dozens of dates, generally no longer than 3 through Match, PoF and Tinder. It's definitely a numbers game. Just chat to loads of people, don't bother with them if you get a bad vibe, don't be offended if you don't hear back from people and meet up with people really quickly (within a fortnight)
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