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Son is poorly

(9 Posts)
DrNoHope Thu 25-Feb-16 21:18:37

I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but I am going out of my mind with worry and need some sensible grounding MN advice. I have NC though never been a regular poster.

Back story - separated a year. Marriage breakdown awful we sold the family home and both bought near by to arrange a 50/50 split. Neither of us happy with the split arrangements, and both feel we deserve more. Both suck it up for the sake of the children.

Anyway, DS aged 9, is currently poorly. Just a viral infection I think, although I am starting to worry as he has had a series of nasty infections (this is his 3rd since Christmas) - each time needing a bit of time off school and spiking fevers.

He has been with XH since Wednesday. Spoke to DS tonight as DS himself phoned- this is very rare as both parents respect the other parent's need for space when with the children. The fact that DS phoned suggests that he was feeling ill/worried. DS told me that he had been ill today and had a fever this evening. Then he said that XH has run out of children's medicine and has been biting off bits of adult tablets to give what he figures are approximate doses of anti-fever meds.

AIBU to think that this is entirely unreasonable? I have a medical background and have always been very careful with meds - I know exactly what I am giving, how much and when etc. I understand I have to allow XH to parent as he sees fit, but I entirely disagree with this action.

I asked to speak to XH. I was massively upset and told him that this was not the correct way to administer meds. He of course took huge umbridge, told me I was being ridiculous and that he knew exactly what he was doing. He only had 200mg tablets of ibuprofen and he could guess by biting off the correct fraction of the tablet that he could make sure that DS was getting the correct dose of 175mg.

He was furious, told me I was micromanaging him, that I was always undermining him etc (all untrue - I rarely have contact with him or the children when they are with him) and we don't talk at all beyond jumpers, shoes etc.

He has never had any respect for my opinion, and when DS was last ill about 2 weeks ago - consulted his pharmacist 'who is a really reliable and whose opinion I really value' rather than discuss with me. I was unhappy with this diagnosis then too, but bit my tongue until tonight.

Predictably it all descended into a row over the phone which the DC were party to. Nothing has been resolved although he grudgingly agreed to stop biting pills.

Am I being over-protective? When I texted last night over DS's wellbeing he didn't reply. He generally makes no contact with me when he has children.

MrsH1989 Thu 25-Feb-16 21:23:12

I would have driven round with some medicine rather than engage in an argument but you are right that biting pills is ridiculous!

Bellyrub1980 Thu 25-Feb-16 21:23:19

He thinks he can measure out 175mg of ibuprofen with his teeth?

He is being completely irresponsible and you reacted the same way I would. The only additional thing I would have done would have been to buy some children's neurofen or calpol and taken it to his house, purely for my peace of mind.

QuiteLikely5 Thu 25-Feb-16 21:27:56

I just couldn't get worked up over this tbh.

I'm sure he has your sons best interests at heart and will go out and get meds tomorrow.

partialderivative Thu 25-Feb-16 21:45:23

Sorry, but let him be a parent.

Joysmum Thu 25-Feb-16 21:48:08

I was a dispensing technician in a previous life and I too would deem this imunacceptable.

What I would have done is not make avid thing if it and just dropped some meds round.

DrNoHope Thu 25-Feb-16 21:51:52

Dropping meds round wasn't an option as I didn't know this is what he was doing (dc there since yesterday) and I was at work all day today and yesterday. I only found out because ds mentioned it on phone tonight.

DrNoHope Thu 25-Feb-16 21:53:25

Though obviously accept that I'm being overly cautious about meds.

TheoriginalLEM Thu 25-Feb-16 21:54:05

Not acceptable at all, if there isn't a clear divide on the tablet for the tablet to be split in two, then the active ingredient is unlikely to be distrubuted evenly across the tablet and this could result in an overdose.

Can you drop some medication round?

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