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I need to grow a pair, where do I start?

(5 Posts)
MarbelousBadge Thu 25-Feb-16 09:58:40

I'm a regular but have recently name changed to post in mental health about the problems I have been having.
I could have posted this in lots of places but ultimately this is about my relationship with everyone.

Here Crisis Team

And here hand hold needed

On Tuesday I saw a Consultant Psychiatrist it was a long appointment but among the many things he said was 'you've been kicked around and treated badly your whole life, haven't you?'.
Sadly this is true.

I'm not in a relationship, I LTabusiveB years ago, did the Freedom Programme and I'm good at weeding out the potentially abusive and the idiots now.
In may ways - and with respect to anyone in an abusive relationship - LTB and learning to spot dangerous men was the easy bit.

My problem is that I am treated badly, talked down to and taken advantage of by everyone. I know this is my fault.

I'm terrified about going back to work because they will heap more and more work on me and then shout at me when it isn't all done. Work was the ultimate straw that broke me and started the 'breakdown' I am currently having.
I'm looking for another job.

I think it's too late in life for me and my ageing parents to go NC but I plan to put physical distance between us too.

But ultimately, even after I've taken those positive steps I'm still a doormat, too nice, too easily treated badly, it's what I've known my whole life and I don't know how to stop it.

As part of my recovery from this bout of mental health illness I will have CBT soon.

Aside from the CBT I think I need to put some work in myself.
How do I break out these behaviours and learn to stand up for myself?
How do I learn to put myself first and treat myself well?
And how the hell do I stop taking everyone else's shit?

TIA

Marchate Thu 25-Feb-16 11:49:29

You are taking the blame for everything. That's a sad road to travel

Being treated badly your whole life inevitably has an impact. Work with the psychiatrist & counsellors to reclaim something of yourself

Take care

MarbelousBadge Thu 25-Feb-16 17:08:40

I am responsible for the way I interact with people and my own lack of self belief and that's what I need to take a good look at.

I don't take responsibility for my parents' actions or those of other people who have treated me badly.

My appointment for CBT is next week but I think I need to do some work of my own too. Really I need to take a look at my life and myself and take some responsibility for sorting myself out.

Thank you though, I will take care at least, I'm trying to.

pallasathena Thu 25-Feb-16 17:41:09

You 'fake it until you make it', by telling yourself each day how awesome you are.

kittybiscuits Thu 25-Feb-16 18:04:03

My problem is that I am treated badly, talked down to and taken advantage of by everyone. I know this is my fault

It's not your fault. If people are shitty to you, they are responsible for that shitty behaviour. If you didn't know how to protect yourself or remove yourself in the past, that's not your fault. It's something important that you didn't know how to do. You are not to blame for that. You can learn not to be so hard on yourself flowers

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