Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

1 week nc and feeling lost

(10 Posts)
hurtandconfued2016 Mon 22-Feb-16 18:38:04

Well that's me went 1 full week nc with my ex! It's been 7 weeks since he left me and I am feeling lost! I haven't contacted him and was waiting for him to contact me regarding our son but he hasn't. ......
How can someone go a week not knowing how their child is or if their soon to be born daughter is here? Or if the hospital appointments went okay?
Even more how can I still love and miss a man like this?

RatherBeRiding Mon 22-Feb-16 20:08:21

Take it a day at a time, and concentrate on you and your children, not him. Because he is obviously not concentrating on you, harsh as that may sound.

He hasn't bothered to ask if your appointment went OK, and to ask after his child because he doesn't care enough.

Don't chase after him. He knows where you are and if he is bothered enough to find out how you are, he will. You can't make him care.

It's tough, but you will get there.

0dfod Mon 22-Feb-16 21:55:49

One step at a time Op, you will be experiencing lots of emotions, be kind to yourself.

Remember your ex will choose what sort of father he will be, you are not responsible for his shit absent parenting.

Resilience16 Mon 22-Feb-16 22:56:09

Well done for managing a week nc. I know how bloody hard that is and how shit a recent relationship breakup can be.
It really is one day at a time, keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Of course you still have feelings, you can't just turn them off like a tap when he walked out the door, if only! Would make things much easier!
Try and keep busy, accept you will have good days and bad days, allow yourself time to grieve over the relationship you hoped you'd have and as Odfod says above, be kind to yourself.
Good luck with the new baby and onwards and upwards. Hug for you x

hurtandconfued2016 Tue 23-Feb-16 10:29:14

No I know he's not concentrating on me and the kids it's his ow he is concentrated on at the moment.
Which hurts like hell because my son asks for his dad and all I have to say is that he is at work!
Odfod apparently it is me that is making him choose what kind of a dad he is because I won't discuss contact thru his parents.

PerceptionIsReality Tue 23-Feb-16 10:33:46

NC is the way to go. However tough this week has been it is a week closer to you feeling better than it would be had you not gone nc.

You know that is bollocks about YOU making him choose. My 4 year old comes out with nonsense like your ex too.

hurtandconfued2016 Tue 23-Feb-16 20:37:52

Well today I have had a totally melt down again!!
I'm terrified of having this baby! Right now as awful as it sounds I am not excited in any way at all!
Still not contacted him though as much as I want to!
Yeah well everyone in his friends and family think it's me that's stopping him seeing our children and that hurts too cause all I'm doing is trying to encourage him!

Resilience16 Tue 23-Feb-16 21:35:03

Breathe.
Yes it is scary realising you will have this baby as a single parent rather than part of a couple, but you can do it and it is better for your little unit to be happy as a three than conflicted as a four.
How do you know what his family and friends are thinking?is this what he has told you? In reality at least some of them must think he is a total shit for leaving his wife ,kid and baby to be to be with another woman, but he isn't going to admit to that is he?
Keep on with the NC, you are doing the right thing xx

hurtandconfued2016 Tue 23-Feb-16 22:21:03

Well not one of his family have text to ask how me/baby/son is or anything like that and his friends all walk past me when they see me now!
No because he has told them that he loves me but isn't in love with me and all that when in reality he had been seeing ow before he left me and 3 days after he walked he was in a relationship with her. So they see it as he left me before he started something new....
Yeah it's hard especially when son is asking for daddy and I can't help but cry!
Xx

Aussiebean Tue 23-Feb-16 22:43:16

It might be an idea to look to moving away from the area when things settle down. It would be good to not have these constant reminders every time you walk down the street.

One day at a time and you will get there. Xx

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now