I think i'm in an abusive relationship, but I've got nothing to compare it to. He is telling me it's all me, I am causing the problems. Ive had a really bad day, my oldest friend has basically told me we are done. I have nooone left to talk to. Apparently i'm pathetic and selfish. I suffer with depression and maybe that's clouding my judgement but right now I feel like a stray dog being kicked. I am really struggling, so much I actually phoned the Samaritans, reach out to someone they said but every time I try to reach out im either completely ignored or accused of being selfish putting my problems on other people or attention seeking. I think my other half is abusive, he will kick off over the slightest little thing, if ive forgotten something, if something is in the wrong place...I drive myself crazy trying to avoid a row. I don't think people believe me when I do try to tell them. He has left me in the past because I yawned, yes really...he took it as a personal insult, I was bloody tired from looking after him all day. He will wake me up in bed and send me downstairs to get juice or whatever he wants..im a glorified slave. I have got no friends left, they just think im a lying nutcase.
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I am so confused, I really think I may need mental help.
everyothernameisinuse · 08/02/2016 18:11
Well they can´t have been much cop as friends! That´s fucking shocking! 
Why would genuine friends who care about your welfare and wellbeing assume you´re lying??
And he´s an abusive fucker by the sounds of it. Can you leave him? Do you jointly own your house? Is there any love at all in this relationship?
If not then it´s time to get rid. Are you married?
Please ring Women´s Aid tonight and they will advise what to do. Esp as you´re not even sure if your relationship is abusive. 
Sorry you´re having such a shit time of it. But it´s time to get proactive and think ¨ No more. I´m worth more than this!¨
Oh, honey. Your 'D'P is an abusive shitlord. As a pp said, he is gaslighting you (Google it, if you haven't heard the term).
He is ruining your friendships - abusers do that deliberately, exactly because it makes their partner feel they don't have anyone else. Your friends don't understand at the moment, because you don't. They might think you're not bothered about them any more. This can be resolved, when you have got rid of him.
He has twisted your head up - exactly.
You need to leave him. It's not easy, but you can do it
Well I presume neither of you work if he won´t even let you go to the corner shop or the loo without challenging you! He´s not ¨worried¨ at all, he´s keeping you on a very short leash. He´s severely controlling you and limiting you opportunities of freedom from being right where he can see you.
Unless you want to live a miserable life of submission, co-dependancy and isolation with very little in the way of love, affection or happiness ( so a shit quality of life, to be concise! ) then you need to ring WA asap, even if it means you lying about having a Dr´s app or something, in which to ring them in privacy.
He´s holding you a prisoner! I´m presuming you feel unable to assert yourself and stand up to him? What would happen if you just turned round one time and told him to Fuck Off and leave you alone? Have you tried talking to him and explaining how unacceptable his behaviour is?
Sorry to be blunt but if you want change then you´re going to have to step out your comfort zone and instigate that change yourself. Nobody is going to come and rescue you. So find some inner resolve, get away from him long enough to contact some help, concoct a lie, do whatever it takes......
He must leave the house sometimes without you, right? So there´s your opportunity to place a call. The help is out there but you have to help yourself in the 1st instance. I hope you can be proactive in changing your circumstances rather than bowing down and just accepting all this crap that he´s doling out to you.
You don´t have to take it you know? He´s an abusive wanker, nobody is gonna argue with that. But what are you gonna do about it? Anybody would be depressed living like you do.
Hi Every
Sometimes we pick partners that emulate qualities that match others who might have abused us in the past when younger, family etc.
It's not a huge jump to then get with someone who will continue this pattern for us, also we often pick "friends" who have these personality traits as well, hangers on and users.
The upshot being because we dont recognise what a decent give and take relationship/friendship is like we accept that's our lot, but when you start seeing the abuse for what it is the friends we've picked are useless, because they never had your best interests at heart in the first place.
Maybe it's time to rely on your own senses and instincts now, and avoid those who would do you more harm then good 
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