I apologise, I know this subject has been rehashed so many times, but I feel so sad about this and embarrassed to talk to anyone I know in RL
So basically: DP lied for two years about his porn use. Our relationship started off long distance, About 10 months in we had the 'porn' discussion, he told me he used it frequently, and I told him that due to past experiences (xh using porn rather than having sex with me) and moral objections, I preferred not to be in a relationship with someone who looked at porn. HE straight away said that he would stop as our relationship was more important to him than porn etc. etc.
You can probably guess the rest of the story... we moved in together 8 months ago and first thing DP does when he gets a day alone is look at porn. I know this because I found his tablet and dirty tissues on the bed when I got home from work, and he confessed (although minimised initially).
He still insisted then that it was a one off, he'd not been using while we were apart... I wanted to believe him but deep down knew it was a lie. He finally admitted as much about a month ago.
I just feel so sad, and angry, about this. When we had the initial discussion he could have said that porn was important to him and he didn't want to stop. We were only 10 months in, long distance, we could have gone our separate ways (or maybe found some other way, together, I don't know), and it would have been hard but wouldn't have been the end of the world. Now our lives are intertwined, I have grown to love him deeply, and I find he has been lying to me all this time. I feel I can't trust anything he says as he will just tell me what I want to hear in order to keep me happy. What else could he be lying about?
I'm sorry for such a long post, I just needed to tell someone. I have tried to talk to DP, and while he listened for a while he eventually stormed off saying "what will talking do? I can't change the past".
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Relationships
Partner lied for two years
Lolipoplady · 07/02/2016 20:42
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