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emotional manipulation and abuse of dd

(4 Posts)
piperchapman44 Sat 06-Feb-16 21:57:17

Sorry this is my second thread on here in a day, don't mean to be multiple thread poster!

Was just about to email ex about this when I thought I would stop and ask advice.

Ex and dd generally have a nice relationship, she likes going there. Except for the following, which sometimes happen (as in one of , every time):
* He tells her he is miserable without me
* He tells her that people should forgive and I am not forgiving him and it's not right (this was a couple of days ago)
* He tells her he's sad that I don't allow him to put her to bed in my house (family house but I ask him not to come due to past abuse)

With a divorce coming up (see other thread), I can only see this getting worse and I am wondrering if I should send him a short email saying this is not ok, he is not to do this to her, and if he does I will stop contact, because it is abuse.

I'll email him on Monday now, when he won't be seeing her for a few days so he will have time to calm down after.

Sometimes I have a big fear that if I push him too much, it'll endanger her. No evidence for this, he's been physically abusive to me but not to her. And I think all the above is to get to me because he knows she tells me. But she and I are both fed up with it. I've asked her if she could tell him to stop - but she says she is worried he will shout at her.

0phelia Sat 06-Feb-16 22:01:50

Yes, it's emotional manipulation designed to make you look bad.

0phelia Sat 06-Feb-16 22:04:17

It's not acceptable so u need to either
1) withdraw your child
or
2) he stops manipulating.

piperchapman44 Sat 06-Feb-16 22:07:19

If I stop contact, then when I resume it , she may feel nervous about telling me that kind of stuff. She always tells me the minute she sees me if he's said anything, then she seems to move on. I wouldn't want to make her feel unable to talk to me.

But if I email him and tell him it must stop, that I won't stand by and let it happen, presumably he ll get it...if it carries on I will then cancel the next weekend contact and just tell dd he's having a sick weekend.

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