The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Battling The Wicked Wine Witch, One Day At A Time!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse, one of the Babes who have been on this lovely, rickety bus called Gerald for some time now!

There's no judgy pants worn on this bus, nor hoking of bosoms!! It's filled with every day life, love and laundry. As simple as that. The rest falls in between.

We're a welcoming, supporting thread, filled with a mine of information from many years of experience, from those who have consumed alcohol day in, day out...hidden the 'habit', the lie, disguised our drinking with many an excuse. So perfected over the years or new to the guilt of drinking more than you think you should.....

Anyway, old or new, lurker or not, come and say hello to us if you feel the need. We'd love to meet you if we haven't already :)

Thank you for reading this, find a seat, hide green opal fruits if you find any, they're like gold dust around here! Aren't they ma!!

See you soon, I hope.

Mouse x

And, if you'd like to see where we all began, sit with a cup of tea/coffee and have a peek at this - the beginning

And our latest thread that will take you back to many others enjoy your read!

[Fairenuff]

Oooh look how clean and shiny it is.

Thanks Mouse

[madein1995]

Thanks Mouse :D I haven't got much to leave as I seem to have demolished all my junk food lately, but I've got some cola bottles and chocolate flapjacks (not at all homemade, starbucks provided them - me, bake? You're joking ) to start us off.

[ClaretAndBlue30]

made ooo you won me over with the cola bottles, yummy.

Thanks mouse

[dementedma]

Hauls self wearily onto bus. Hi all

[madein1995]

Hi everyone the wine is tempting me from the fridge! Am ignoring it and continuing to munch on mint choc chip ice cream though and about to start playing cards against humanity

[SmallFox]

Thank you Mouse. Glad you're ok and got good support the other day for Nemo.

How're you doing, Ma? Baby, lovely to see you just now on the other thread, gorgeous, gorgeous words as always - I so look forward to your posts. Made - you sound like you're doing great planning, you couldn't be preparing yourself better: hang in there, one day at a time. Faire, love to you, babe and hello Claret. We have cola bottle soap at the moment and it is giving me mild cravings for the real thing!

On the subject of cravings - a weird thing occurred to me earlier. I'm still doing this * stupid detox thing which I profoundly wish I hadn't started. Basically can't eat anything nice. I found myself desperately wishing I could have a drink... not unusual, obviously, but I was craving Becks Blue, not wine. That is seriously odd. Cautiously good, but odd. 14 days to go til my Becks Blue dream can come true..god my life is sad.

Has Sweet been around recently? You ok lovey? May just be me not being here that much of late but bit worried I haven't seen you.

Nice weekend plans, everyone? Facemask Friday? Faire my feet are in a state of utter Footner revoltingness - have yours come out the other side yet?

[Fairenuff]

Haha Small beware of what you wish for

[babyjane1]

Hi hunnies I'm home!!! Xxx

[madein1995]

Another sober day . Been tougher than yesterday but much easier than the day before. I'm looking forward to drinking tomorrow so much (only the one bottle on a night out so not too much by my standards, it's not ideal but I'm going to set a goal and stick to it). Had a fab night with friends, going to shower then listen to a bit of music then bed I think. Haven't had brilliant nights sleep lately, I suppose it's to be expected, have been having nightmares - having a bottle of wine in my hand and feeling happy and then it being snatched away is a recurring dream, true of RL I think!

[Elba84]

babyjane thank you so much for your lovely post on the last thread. You sound like you have been through alot, but have so much insight and strength.

made well done for tonight, you're doing so well and it sounds like you have some fab friends that value and care about you lots.

I'm trying to not binge tonight. I've been home from work for just about two hours and set half one as bedtime and want to stick to 10 units, but I don't know if I will or not. I have about 1.5 small glasses of wine to 'allow' myself before I go beyond this. It scares the crap out of me that I am struggling to limit my drinking to a level that is still huge for most people, and so undeniably dangerous.

I didn't get a chance to have a proper evening break at work so haven't eaten since about half one. I'm not hungry, I have no appetite. If I was being sensible I should of eaten when I got home but I don't want to. Part of this is long standing but I have to admit part of me wanted to not eat so I would get better effect from my now limited intake of alcohol.

Where do I go from here? I don't know if I should just get out of the habit of the big binges (basically any day where I can get away with it) and accept the chronic drinking to a set limit for a while, or be more proactive and cut down what I have on 'good' days too. I know that any day I could just think sod it and carry on as I have done for years, until it kills me. But cold turkey scares me too. I wouldn't be massively high risk for acute withdrawal as I'm not physically addicted as such, and when faced with on-calls for example (very rare now in current job) I will panic at the idea of 24-48 without and anxiety will be very real, but I can still function well professionally.

On the plus side I didn't stop at the shop to but 'contingency' drinks as I usually would on the way home (willpower has definitely improved with the support of you lovely babes!). And the main thing is I haven't gone into denial again tonight, which was so so tempting!

Sorry for the essay again, and sorry to have not mentioned more of you by name. You are all so lovely and supportive and so so strong!

[ClaretAndBlue30]

So I went out for date night last night and had my first drinks of 2016, pre planned and the 5th was always my goal so I'm pleased I got to it - it's been hard!

So we had 2 drinks at the pub then I ordered myself a half bottle of wine at the restaurant, of which I think I had just over half. I actually left wine - pretty unheard of!

On the way home we went via the shops to get diet coke and sweets (in the past that would have been more wine to drink back home)

So I'm happy with the volume I drank and utterly shocked how rough I feel today - this is the amount I was drinking on a nightly basis last year, what must have I been doing to my body?

It's thrown me into a bit of a whirl to be honest. Why on earth bother drinking if it makes me feel like this?

Food (or perhaps drink) for thought.

elba your post resonated with me, drinking has caused me to have disordered eating in the past, regularly not eating so that I have calories spare for wine, regularly not eating so wine has more of an effect quicker. Even now going out for a full meal and drinking seem so indulgent to me. Silly I know.

[evilpopstar]

elba thinking long and hard about your drinking is all part of the process of gaining control so no matter what you are still drinking you are making clear progress. You will have to through all the will I won't I before you find strategies and goals that work for you.

claret well done on sticking to your limit. I drank too as was aiming for 5th Feb. I had one beer then just under half bottle wine. Also felt rough this am but ok now. I think I'm going for AF weekday evenings and limited weekend drinking. Although ive never managed it before !!!!! Let's see if I'm fooling myself or if I manage it. For me, the issue will be whether I allow myself to get hold of any class As. Oh dear.

[Fairenuff]

elba it helps to not think too long term right now. Just focus on today. Will you be drinking today or not? If not, concentrate on getting through the day without drinking. That's it. Just one day.

If you do plan to drink then you can set yourself a limit on time or amount or just drink whatever you want and see how you feel about.

Claret it may be that like me and venus and many others on this thread, you decide that you don't want to drink very often. It might even lead to very long streches like spanna and others. It's a process and we are all different.

pop you can do it. Just think of those weekdays as dry days, the same as dry January and you will stack up loads of AF days. Or join me in Lent and go for the big one - six weeks!

Think of it. Six weeks to clean your body of toxins, lots of healthy living, tone up, maybe shift a couple of pounds. The evenings are getting lighter, spring is on it's way and Easter weekend will be the next target to have a couple of days off if you want to.

I've lost a stone over this last month babes, just by cutting out processed food and added sugar. I still eat 3 meals a day, don't get hungry, have amazing, restful sleep and much prefer that to late nights, junk food and alcohol which is nice at the time but ultimately just sabotages all my good stuff

[Elba84]

I think you're right about not thinking too long term fairnuff I just need to stick to my set limits I think. I know I will drink today; I've worked out I haven't had a day without since 2014 when I had to do some on-calls for work, and that wasn't very regularly. I think for the next week or so if I can manage to not go above 10 units on any day that will do for now.

I'm actually quite pleased that I managed last night. I didn't stop at the shop on the way home to buy more beer and left a half bottle of wine untouched, and avoided the spirit cupboard. As I had the place to myself and a day off today this is a big step, and im enjoying feeling a bit less hungover than usual.

This just feels like a really precarious place at the moment though, I know I could have a crap day and loose all control. I've been like this for years though so I guess it's a slow process.

claret well done on last night, and I hope you feel less rough now! I actually started drinking in my teens as I had food issues and thought I was very clever having a couple of drinks before bed so I wouldn't be kept awake by hunger. I could of reeled off from memory the calories in any food you could think of, but for some reason thought alcohol was low cal

[madein1995]

My wine drinking plan has been put to rest. My friend and me just had a big chat on how well I've done, how hard it's been and how I shouldn't throw that away for one drunken night. So she's taken my wine and hid it (with my permission). I've been looking forward to drinking but know in my heart I wouldn't stop after 1 bottle and know its best not to give in

[dementedma]

Well done made

[Fairenuff]

Elba these changes seem small at the time but they are all taking you in the direction you want to go. Well done

[madein1995]

I've just bought 2 bottles of wine for 'just in case', I don't know why for the life of me, but I feel safer having a bottle or 2 here if that makes sense? I'm not going to drink tonight though - I'm on drunks duty, gonna look after my 2 mates who are going to get steaming

[madein1995]

Well I've let myself down yet again, have drank almost half of one of those bottles I bought earlier, and I feel much more relaxed and happy, I remember why I love drinking. Back on it tomorrow I think, but I'm going to enjoy tonight.

[madein1995]

Well I've let myself down yet again, have drank almost half of one of those bottles I bought earlier, and I feel much more relaxed and happy, I remember why I love drinking. Back on it tomorrow I think, but I'm going to enjoy tonight.

[dementedma]

You knew you would drink when you bought the two bottles made. Tomorrow is another day.

[Elba84]

made like ma said tomorrow is another day, you haven't let yourself down you are just struggling. I regularly buy alcohol with the aim of not drinking it but having it there 'just in case' but without fail will drink it as the idea of running out is so scary. Uni life must have so many temptations when you are struggling, but the fact you have so much insight is amazing.

I felt very weepy and low this afternoon but managed to drag myself to the gym this evening which helped. Working 7-7 tomorrow/ Monday and meant to be in a meeting Tuesday morning so no chance to binge. At the moment though that feels ok, usually I'm counting down to the next time I can just let it go and drink as much as I want. I've quite liked pottering about today feeling tired from work but not hungover, regretful and anxious. I hate alcohol so much in the mornings and love it at night.

Off to bed now as have to be up at half five. Have stuck within planned units (seven) and calculated more than enough time between stopping tonight and driving tomorrow. Still can't imagine a night without drinking though.

[ClaretAndBlue30]

elba think one day at a time, for now you are managing your alcohol via set limits - once you've mastered that then maybe you can think about an af free day or two a week, but for now you're doing great so keep it up.

made alcohol in the house has always been a no no for me, I simply cannot have it in the house and not drink it. Hope you are ok this morning.

faire I spent most of yesterday afternoon being sick; no idea if it was related to the wine I had or something I ate but what I know for sure is I felt worse yesterday (emotionally and physically) than any day in the prior month. Perhaps drinking rarely like you say, might be the way forward for me.

[dementedma]

made sorry. My earlier comment seemed a little harsh..I know that when I am planning on not drinking but buy alcohol in, its because I know really I plan to drink it. The only way is not to have it in the house at all.
indie are you out there
hope?
wry are you lurking?

[evilpopstar]

i hate alcohol so much in the morning and love it at night

So true elba so true.

I had 3 pints in pub plus a bottle of beer either side and feel absolutely rank after a month off. Woke up feeling anxious , embarrassed that i had ranted on in pub to people I barely know. Not even dressed , kids have no homework done etc.

Babes , it's just not worth it.